Legion Beta: Demonology First Impressions

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So in my infinite luck I managed to win a beta key from Icy Veins, and I’ve been messing around with the new Demonology!

ikralla

Here’s Ikralla the Demonology Warlock, I’m Panda Steve, and these are my first impressions!

Aesthetics

The Skull of the Man’ari is a really cool little weapon. The floating skull is actually an offhand weapon, whereas the main hand weapon is a dagger called the Spine of Thal’kiel.

spine

Kinda wished it looked like an ACTUAL spine, y’know? But then again who am I to say what a Man’ari spine looks like?

The artifact quest is a fun lark that sees you join up with some familiar Warlocky faces, try to summon a demon, hijinks ensue, and you end up conquering a planet. All in a day’s work. You have chained-up demons as training dummies, huge infernals and demonic jailers wandering around, and the order hall is just generally pretty damn awesome.

The spec has seen a gigantic change from what it was in Mists of Pandaria and Warlords of Draenor, going from turning into a demon into summoning an army to besiege your foes, and it fits really well. Masters of demonic magics, it feels right that Demonology is capable of peerless summoning prowess. Going back to using Soul Shards doesn’t take much getting used to, and you never really feel starved of them.

Abilities

DISCLAIMER: My level is 100, my gear level is 689, I have 1 artifact ability that boosts Shadow and Fire damage by 5%. All of this is still in beta, so things are subject to change. Abilities may differ in numbers, or be changed in functionality, even removed completely, so with that, let’s start with…

itemlevel

  • Shadow Bolt‘s the same old, same old. It’s your filler, it does Shadow damage, and you’ll be casting it quite a lot as it’s your primary Soul Shard generator. At my gear level, it’s hitting for roughly 6,000 damage.

shadowbolt

  • Doom has a relatively uninteresting animation, but does a very large amount of damage (roughly 45k in the above mentioned gear). It also benefits from Pandemic, which means you can cast it with around 4-5 seconds remaining on the debuff without losing any damage (it’ll tick twice over the duration of Doom). If you were to doublecast Doom, then let it run out, the debuff would be 19 seconds, after 15 it would deal the full 45k, then after the remaining time runs out, it will deal a partial tick of around 17k.

doom

doomtick

  • Hand of Gul’dan now has no cooldown, but has a short cast time and hits an 8 yard area around your target. It costs a number of shards to cast (from 1 to 4), deals more damage the more shards you use to cast it (1 shard around 2.7k, 2 shards around 5.4k, 3 shards around 8.1k, 4 shards around 11k), and for every shard consumed, it summons a Wild Imp which throws roughly 7 fireballs dealing around 1k damage. It’s pretty cool to drop a meteor on your opponent.

handofguldan

  • Call Dreadstalkers is one of the new abilities for Demonology. It summons 2 of the aforementioned demons to attack your opponents for 12 seconds, on a 15 second cooldown. They hit for roughly 2.3k per hit, with an initial hit of around 10k each. They do about 9 attacks before they vanish, including that initial hit. They get some pretty nifty upgrades too when you pick the appropriate talents, but we’ll go over those soon!

summondreadstalkers

  • Demonic Empowerment boosts the health and haste of your demons by 50% for 12 seconds, as well as increasing their attack power based on your Mastery rating, so they hit harder and faster! The health boost directly buffs another ability, Thal’kiel’s Consumption. They also make your demons grow in size, so have fun with that, melee classes.

newmastery

demonicempowerment

  • Demonwrath is your baseline AoE spell. It causes all of your demons to pulse energy waves around them that damage anything within 10 yards for roughly 2.2k damage. It’s a channeled spell and hits 3 times, each time giving you a 15% chance to regenerate a Soul Shard! It’s also a form of movement DPS; if you need to move and you haven’t taken Shadowflame, or it’s on cooldown, you can channel this as you run! One thing to note is that each tick only hits an enemy ONCE; even if your foe is in range of 2 or more demons, they’re only hit by one pulse.

demonwrath

  •  Drain Life has mostly the same function as it does now. Channeled attack, hits 6 times, each hit doing around 1.9k damage, and healing you for 6x the amount (so roughly 11.3k per tick). Nothing overwhelmingly new here, though it seems to restore a lot more health than on live. That could just be my perception being off though!

drainlife

  • Thal’kiel’s Consumption is an ability you get from equipping your artifact weapon. It causes Thal’kiel to drain 10% of the life from all your active demons, then he fires a blast of Shadow damage at your target equal to the life he stole. The more total health your demons have, the more damage Thal’kiel’s attack will do, which means you should cast Demonic Empowerment before casting this spell! Currently has no discernible animation, but in the gif below, the second twitch from the Warlock cues a 66.5k hit; this is the hit from Thal’kiel. Has a 2 second cast time and a 45 second cooldown.

thalkielsconsumption

So these are your basic combat abilities. You throw out some Dreadstalkers on cooldown, build up shards to get a max damage Hand of Gul’dan, empower your demons so your pet skull can eat their health, build up shards with your filler, and make sure to replenish Doom at around 4 seconds remaining on the debuff. Overall, the spec has a nice ebb and flow to it; it doesn’t feel (DREAD PHRASE!) clunky like current Demonology.

But of course, this isn’t the full picture. We have other things to consider!

Talents

I’m only going to highlight certain talents here; ones that are majorly cool, or change things dramatically. This is primarily because PRETTY GIFS, but also because a lot of talents, while moved around, are functionally the same.

  • Shadowflame acts as another form of movement DPS, albeit on a cooldown.  It has 2 charges on a 14 second recharge time, is instant cast, deals an instant 7.5k damage, and puts on a DoT for 10.5k damage over 8 seconds, which can stack up to 3 times for triple the damage! It also generates a Soul Shard on each hit.

shadowflame

  • Impending Doom summons a Wild Imp whenever Doom deals damage. It ties in really nicely with a talent two tiers down called Hand of Doom, which makes Hand of Gul’dan apply Doom to anything it hits. Great for adds that are both clumped together, and will live at least 15 seconds. Lots of imps!

impendingdoom

  • Improved Dreadstalkers is on the same tier as the aforementioned Impending Doom, and is infinitely cooler in terms of aesthetics, because it changes Summon Dreadstalkers to also summon 2 Wild Imps. That’s not the cool thing though:
THE IMPS ARE RIDING THE DREADSTALKERS!!!
THE IMPS ARE RIDING THE DREADSTALKERS!!!
  • Trouble is, that talent tier has a THIRD awesome talent, Implosion. It makes all your Wild Imps fly towards a target and explode for about 26k damage to everything within 8 yards. It also looks awesome.

IMPlosion

  • Summon Darkglare is in the final talent tier, and is another talent that synergises well with Hand of Doom. It summons a giant eyeball thing that fires 7 eye lasers (each dealing around 7.2k damage) over the course of 12 seconds. Why does it work well with Hand of Doom? Because it only fires the lasers at targets you have inflicted with Doom! Drop a Hand of Gul’Doom on a clump of enemies and watch the Darkglare make short work of them all!

darkglare

  • The last talent I’ll focus on is Demonbolt, which is in the same tier as Summon Darkglare. It replaces Shadow Bolt, deals the same base damage and still restores a Soul Shard when cast, so what’s the big deal? Well, for every demon you have summoned, it deals an extra 20% (roughly 1,200) damage! It also looks a lot prettier than Shadow Bolt.

demonbolt

Conclusions

So yeah, new Demonology has a nice flow, it has the BEST artifact, but most importantly? It’s HELLA FUN, and surely that’s what matters most? Any bugs so far?

  • As mentioned, Thal’kiel’s Consumption doesn’t have any animation attached to it.
  • He doesn’t yell nearly as much as I’d like😛

gnawthem

He DOES yell occasionally though! I think he did this one when I used Summon Dreadstalkers! I like a little bit of flavour.

 

Another Day, Another Mild Controversy

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lillo

In news that surprises nobody, a small controversy happened this morning. Changes will happen and WE HATE CHANGE.

specchange

Yes, changing spec would have cost a trivial amount of gold in Legion for frequent changers, and people made such a damn fuss, despite the fact that you can easily get even the high-end of that gold scale from selling a weapon or two from Firelands. We’re not talking masses of work here, yet “BUT MAH GOLD” won out, and now it’s changing.

Spec changes are free! TALENT changes are not, at least if you’re mishing out in the wilds of Azeroth.

You know, the things that you’re most likely gonna be changing a hell of a lot MORE than your spec, due to how the talents sharpen a particular niche? Want great single target, take talents X Y and Z. AoE, take A B and C. Cleave, take J K and M. You’d be expected to change talents quite often depending on the fight’s demands, and now that’s gonna cost you! Sort of!

moneyfan

If the need to change talents arises, you have a couple of options.

  1. Interrupt whatever it is you’re doing and hearth back to your home location, wherever that may be. This will allow you to change talents for free, then you can begin the long slog back.
  2. Utilize an Inscription consumable that allows you to change talents for a brief period of time.

That second one is not really looking to be a likely thing though:

The Inscription consumable as currently planned would be something that anyone could drop, not a profession-requiring item like a Jeeves. But, in terms of the materials required, we’re thinking of something that’s more aimed at groups, and probably not the sort of thing an individual is likely to carry a stack of and use freely.

Watcher

Now, I don’t mind a cost to change talents. Technically, we HAVE that already, thanks to the Tome of the Clear Mind items we all lug around with us. But bear with me a minute.

Who will this affect?

Raiders, mostly. While I only speak from my experience, I find that I don’t change talents when I’m dicking around Tanaan Jungle, or when I’m levelling up. I pick whatever talent I need and generally stick with it. Now, perhaps I’m in the minority here and other people are changing talents on an almost constant basis while they level up/engage in solo content, but I’m going to go out on a limb and say they don’t.

If you raid, though, you’ll probably be expected to change talents often depending on the fight. Different fights will require different things from different people/classes.

talentz

As an example I’ve taken the Demonology Warlock. Talents highlighted in red are more AoE-based, and would be taken in a fight that needs strong AoE (to use a Hellfire Citadel example, Hellfire Assault, or Xhul’horac). The yellow talents in the same tiers are more single target-based, as Demonbolt is a single target spell, and Improved Dreadstalkers helps power up those Demonbolts, with Power Trip potentially giving you more shards for more Dreadstalkers/Imps. The green talents are situational ones. You’d take Shadowflame if a fight requires you to move a lot ( like Archimonde) and Impending Doom in a fight with long-lived adds, or in a cleave fight (Hellfire Council, or Xhul’horac again).

I’d argue that this was okay though. The talent change item is apparently going to have a group-based cost, so if you’re in a regular raiding team, you’re gonna be largely unaffected, you’ll just have to funnel mats to your scribe(s) once in a while. It does hurt PUGs a little bit though, and I’m counting dungeon finder and LFR in that group. If you’re running with a bunch of random (and let’s face it, often bastardy) people you’re never gonna see again, you might well be reticent to dump out what may well be a very expensive item to craft willy nilly.

It also affects people with the Inscription profession. Prepare to see business BOOM!

lishoe

What could be done instead?

Just throwing out some ideas here!

  • Talents cost GOLD to change. A trivial amount, like 5g, easily attainable, acts as a bit of a gold sink too?
  • Keep the current system. Carry a big ol’ stack of Tomes of the Clear Mind-like items, after all it’s only 1 bag slot. Maybe make it an Inscription-only item and remove it from NPC vendors, so the profession still has relevance?
  • Talents are FREE TO CHANGE! This kinda goes against their stated philosophy of “we want meaningful choices” though.
  • Have an ability that, when activated, clears all your talents and lets you reselect them. The ability has a 15+ minute cooldown.
  • I… have no other ideas. I’ve been up since 3am and I am frazzled. Do YOU have any ideas? Let me know!

Panda Steve’s Personal Opinion

As mentioned, I don’t see how it’ll affect general out-in-the-world questing. I tell you what, I don’t think I’ve changed talents on my Warlock since I hit level 100 way back when, and as far as questing in Legion goes, I think that’ll stay the same. You’re never that far away from a potential hearthstone location, so one will be easy enough to find if you really need to change talents.

It’ll mainly affect raiders, and again organised raid teams will be able to make craploads of the Inscription item, just like they do with potions, flasks, feasts etc, with PUGs and dungeon/raid finder peoples inconvenienced most.

I also think people need to take a fucking step back and realize that lashing out, threatening and crying constantly about things will mostly have no effect, and sometimes make things worse.

No matter what the track record to the contrary says.

ilvl 720+ link curve

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lilloCONTROVERSY

THE DEATH OF ALL STATS

ONLY ITEM LEVEL MATTERS NOW

newStatsPane

So as you can see above (image courtesy of MMO Champion) the character panel has changed slightly. Whereas before, it showed everything even if it wasn’t relevant to you, now it shows only the stats you should care about. It shows your tertiary stats too if they are present on your gear, but doesn’t if they aren’t. Snazzy little change!

(It’s important to note, however, it’s not showing Spell Power for intellect users, and I assume Attack Power for others. I think this should change personally)

It’s dumbing the game down!

No it’s not. The stats you have now are still in the game (bar Multistrike), it’s just not showing stuff that isn’t relevant to the class/spec you are playing. Mages don’t need Strength, why show them what that stat is? The displayed numbers are rounded, but you can hover over them to show you to specific decimal places, as well as the flat number of the stat present on your gear (I assume after passive ability modifiers).

That’s not my major point today, however,

It makes item level so prominent! They’re making it the most important thing!

*sigh* Here’s where I take potshots at everyone and everything.

Item level is a barometer, it’s one of many factors that decide the power of a character. It’s prominent probably because of the emphasis people put on it. Before item level was a thing and displayed in-game, you had gear score and it functioned much the same as ilvl does now, despite being largely invisible and calculated by external addons.

“720+ no scrubs”

Having a high item level is an indication of roughly how you will do in a fight. The higher the item level, the higher your DPS/HPS will theoretically be. Of course, this doesn’t take into account many, many factors, such as:

  • Your spec: It’s all well and good saying you should pull 80k DPS on a fight, but what if you’re playing as a Destruction Warlock, and have to move a lot? Your DPS will suffer for it, a lot more than a Beast Mastery Hunter, who can perform all of their rotation while on the jog.
  • Your secondary stats: Fantastic, you’re a Fire Mage with 740+ item level! You’re still HEAVILY dependent on having Critical Strike on your gear, and if you got unlucky enough with your secondary stats that you’re sitting barely above default? DPS will suffer.
  • Skill level: It’s all well and good being of a high item level, but if you die because you stand in fire, that’s DPS/healing you’re not doing.
  • Arrogance: “wtf this is only LFR/Normal/Heroic, mechanics don’t matter here!” Yes they do, my lovely.
  • Can you do effective DPS? Best way to explain this is with the Paragons fight from Siege. 9 bosses, 3 at a time, looks like an AoE/cleave fight, but actually is a single target fight because when one dies, the others restore their health and buff their damage. It’s easy for a Shaman to spam Chain Lightning and top the DPS meters, but only 33% of it is effective DPS because they’re attacking 2 targets they shouldn’t be*.

And so on and so forth. People are at the point now where generally, people know Hellfire Citadel inside out, and because they want to grab tier pieces, class trinkets and ring upgrades, people generally don’t want to take people still learning the fights. That’s all well and good, people are free to advertise their raid groups (or ANY group) however they feel like.

However!

It also creates this weird thing where people who may not have a regular raiding team are stuck at a particular item level range of roughly 690 to 710 or so, who can’t get into groups because they’re asking for 720+ to steamroller through fights. They can’t get into groups with their “low” item level, yet need to get into groups to increase it. They want to get Ahead of the Curve, yet need it to get into a group.

“But they can do Mythic dungeons”

Yeah, about that. Increasingly I am seeing groups who, again, want to steamroller through things to farm Valor points for gear/ring upgrades, and so again they ask for higher item levels than the instances even drop, gear-wise. They want speed, they want no screw-ups, they want to be in and out, and don’t have the patience for “fucking slack dps” and what not.

Who is to blame for this situation? Well, everybody and nobody, in a way.

The people who placed a high emphasis on gear score way back when, when it was an intangible number calculated by some addon started it, to be sure. Blizzard then displayed item levels on gear, and slowly this became the de facto way of judging the “worthiness” of a player. Never mind that someone with high item levels can ignore important stuff that wipes groups, or have just bought their way to high gear (either from the auction house, black market auction house, or from carry runs) and so don’t know how any fights work, they have a high item level, they MUST be good!

It’s prominent because YOU MADE IT SO.

*there ARE classes that benefit from a little bit of cleave. Off the top of my head, Destruction Warlocks benefited from throwing down Rain of Fire and having Immolate up on three targets, because it generated Burning Embers that they could then pour into their Chaos Bolts on their primary DPS target, but this is pretty much the exception, Paragons was a single target fight masquerading as an AoEfest.

Transmog Spotlight: Pinkadin

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My Paladin is called Poundshopwig, because he’s all about the cheap-ass weave. He is resplendent, his beard is fabulous, he is a beacon of light in a world of darkness.

Or at least a zone of darkness, because damn if Shadowmoon Valley isn’t terrible for screenshots.

psw

Ordinarily a Holy Paladin, Mr P. S. Wig is currently rocking Retribution, ’cause it kills things slightly quicker in Tanaan Jungle, and I am terribly impatient. The chest, gloves, legs, boots and belt are of the Bloodscale Plate set (Bloodscale Breastplate/Gauntlets/Legguards/Sabatons/Belt), which tend to drop from the normal mode Hellfire Citadel (Outland version) dungeons. The shoulders are the Blood-Stained Pauldrons, and these babies drop from Rage Winterchill, in the Battle for Mount Hyjal raid, so I’m terribly sorry about that one, but at least he’s the first boss. The Bloodscale shoulder item actually don’t match the set properly as they’re red, not pink. Disastrous.

Crown of Empowered Fate drops from the Reliquary of Souls encounter in Black Temple. The sword he’s waving around is Gurthalak, Voice of the Deeps which drops from Madness of Deathwing. When he’s in Holy, I have him looking like this:

poundshopwig2

That shield is obviously the Bulwark of Azzinoth, dropped by Illidan Stormrage of Black Temple fame. It thankfully dropped first time for me, so I hope it does for you too! His fetching purple mace sees you go back to the Battle for Mount Hyjal to engage the third boss, Kaz’rogal. The item? Hammer of Atonement. There is a fetching PINK version that drops from the trash mobs located in the place called the Hammer of Judgement but I got impatient trying to get it to drop.

Transmog transmog transmog. Where would we be without you?

Disco Inferno

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What’s the best way to breathe new life into a game that’s going a bit stagnant at the moment? Why, do exactly the same thing as you’re doing now on a SHINY NEW CHARACTER!

Say hello to Huomofa the Fire Mage!

huomofa

know, a MAGE, fancy that. I’m playing a class some loser once described as the second worst in World of Warcraft. Thing is, I had never played as Fire before. Frost and Arcane bored the junk out of me, and I could never be bothered to respec to Fire to try it out, so my other Mage sits at level 90 on my old server.

Fire as a spec is often compared to the Warlock spec Destruction, probably because on the face of it “they both throw fire around so it must be the same right?” which is kinda like saying “Frost Mages and Frost Death Knights are the same because brr cold?” really. There are superficial similarities. They both like Crit and Mastery, albeit for different reasons and in a different order. They both indeed throw fire around. They’re both incredibly fun.

But while Destruction is all about building up resources then spending them all when you get powerful buffs, Fire is about fishing for critical hits so you can power up and insta-cast your nuke. While Destruction has a trivial DoT in Immolate, Fire has SEVERAL important ones in Pyroblast (which procs from Pyroblast, believe it or not), Ignite (which procs from most fire damage you deal), Combustion (which is based on how high your Ignite is when you cast it) and potentially Living Bomb (a talent). Destruction has a major DPS cooldown and an execute, Fire has… neither (unless you take Mirror Images I suppose?).

huomofa2

I picked Fire to play as because I figured it’d be similar to Destruction, my main’s main spec. I continue playing it because, le gasp, I was wrong and I’m so glad of that. I leveled her to 60, then I boosted her because a) I got paid and this is a way of treating myself, and b) PROFESSION BOOSTS YEAH.

You know it’s really difficult to play Fire in low level dungeons? Not because it’s a tough spec, or because of the low crit levels, but because by the time I’ve got a Fireball cast off, everything’s dead. Boss damage I excelled at, but trash? Might as well let everyone else deal with it. They also have that ol’ turret issue that Destruction faces, but this is mitigated slightly by the Ice Floes talent. Not that I took it. I like Evanesce. It makes me purple.

Does render me unable to turn myself into an ice cube though.
Does render me unable to turn myself into a confused ice cube though.

Playing a Mage makes you play a bit clever too. Sure, Fire is capable of melting some serious face if the RNG favours you, but when the crits stop flowing and there’s enemies beating you in the face, you don’t have plate armour or a pet to take the heat off of you, so you need to react accordingly. Prepare for a fight by Polymorphing extra enemies, or laying down a Ring of Frost. Make sure your Frost Nova and Blink spells are in easy reach. Dragon’s Breath acts as a nice pseudo-interrupt as it has a 4 second disorient effect, and your Counterspell locks enemies for 6 seconds with a successful interrupt! Evanesce allows you to avoid everything for 3 seconds, and when the shit REALLY hits the fan, Greater Invisibility will drop all threat, make enemies unable to target you, reset everything and allow you to retreat, heal up and try again.

All in all, I am really enjoying this character! She’s really thrown my Legion plans into disarray though. I had originally intended to focus on just 3 characters, one for each role (Destro Warlock, Brewmaster Monk, Holy Paladin), but now I wanna throw Huomofa as a fourth in there too. I have zero interest in Frost or Arcane, so I don’t have to worry about the offspec blues either, whereas I know with my Warlock and Monk, I want to play Demonology and Windwalker alongside their main specs.

Legion’s gonna be a busy time. Better go prepare, I guess?

*insert Illidan joke here*

Things You Do That Bother Me

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Not you specifically, you generally. People. I’m going to generalize here, you see. Here’s a list of behaviours people exhibit in World of Warcraft that bother me in some way:

  • I don’t mind so much the PvPing. I’m on a PvP server, it’s to be expected. I’ll admit it, I’ve nuked someone a lower level than me on the way somewhere, just because I COULD, I think most of us have, but if you’re a level 100 and you’re constantly killing people lower level than you (I mean to the point of having killed the same person several times), and trolling their questing experience for your shits and giggles, then you’re a twatbox.
  • You’ve joined a group, probably Kazzak, and the first thing you do is some variation of “SUMMON ME,” whether it’s that, or yelling “123” (why does that mean “summon me”?) or “TP” for the French among you because you’re too lazy to mount up and fly there. You douchecannon.
  • MORESO if there’s no Warlock present in the group ANYWAY. Turdbin.
  • You get a bit of a pass though if you literally CAN’T fly there because you haven’t done the Draenor Pathfinder achievement. Only a bit though, you lazy sack of hammers.
  • You’re in a PUG, and someone asks the group to speak up if you don’t know the tactics. You don’t speak up, even though you don’t know at ALL what to do, and you wipe the group because you keep mixing the fire together on Xhul’whateverthefuck, or you drop void zones where they don’t go, or keep hold of the damn Eye of Anzu. Speak up next time, you wankrocket. They won’t shout at you, they explicitly asked, which implies they’re okay with explaining stuff.
  • Raid leaders in PUGs that don’t explain fights, or don’t bother to ask if everyone’s up to speed. Not everyone’s as super advanced as you, bitchstick.
  • The GOGOGO sort of people you encounter in dungeons. Sweetie, I go at my own pace.
  • The tanks that speed off into the horizon, when Paladin mobility feels akin to a snail wading through molasses. Cockhammock.
  • People who complain about other people all the time, seriously, BE the change you want to see. Oops, nothing to see here.

shoryukengif

That’s not to say there aren’t wonderful people in the game. For every wankstache, turdcanoe and, I dunno, dicksmacker, there’s wonderful people who do the opposite of the above. They explain, they’re patient, they’re friendly and undemanding, they’re attentive and polite.

Call out the dickish behaviour you see. Don’t tolerate it. If enough of us push back against the idiots, maybe we can make this game one that new players will be happy to play, one that will nurture and teach them, rather than tear them down and drive them away. And speaking of new players…

Hearthstone has a cross-promotion with WoW at the moment, where if you level a character to 20, you get a new hero to play with. As a result, people who haven’t played WoW for a long time, or even EVER, are floating around the low-level areas, trying to get their bearings. It’d be nice if some of those players stayed, y’know?

I’m not saying we should all go to low level zones and baby them through, but how about not actively working against these people? How about helping them if they ask, rather than mocking them? There’s potentially going to be even MORE new players when the movie comes out, consider this a trial run for then. These new players could be your guildies in the future, your healers and tanks, the friends you never knew you had.

They could of course be the GOGOGOers and the 123ers we never wanted, but we never know until we get there do we?

lillocurious

Well done for sitting through all this. Here’s a Pandaren.

The OFFICIAL “Best Races in World of Warcraft” List!

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It’s official because I say so.

Let’s start with the (un)lucky losers.

13) WORGEN

Like, you’re cool and all but I just can’t with the sniffing and the opening area. I don’t WANT to do Gilneas. You can’t make me!

I can’t even include a picture of one because I just can’t DO Gilneas, it makes me want to scream, so here’s a dog instead.

nocake

12) NIGHT ELF

Let’s be honest here, Malfurion’s really holding you back here. He’s such an endpiece, you need to get rid.

druidlose

11) HUMAN

I’m human. You’re (I assume?) human too. Human’s like the most BORING choice anyone could make. Who’d even make their main one anyway? Oh wait

Only until Pandaren can be Warlocks!
Only until Pandaren can be Warlocks!

10) ORC

Frankly I think we’re all sick of them by now. BRING ON THE DEMONS.

Comedically large shoulders though, so that saves them from oblivion.

Hi. I'm an overused antagonist.
Hi. I’m an overused antagonist.

9) TROLL

We’re all waiting on the inevitable Troll raid in Legion. I mean we went a whole expansion with nary a Trollish hand raised against us! Blasphemy!

Hi. I'm an overused antagonist too. Mon.
Hi. I’m an overused antagonist too. Mon.

8) GNOME

So we get to some difficult decisions now, and Gnomes get the short end of the stick.

Get it? SHORT end? SHORT end?

Ohohohoho!

They give 100% sassface though.
They give 100% sassface though.

7) FORSAKEN

Owners of some of the most rad hairstyles in the game, but with a disappointing habit of having bones appear through everything. Even plate for some reason.

"DEATH TO THE LIVING" whoa there settle down
“DEATH TO THE LIVING” whoa there settle down

6) TAUREN

COW PEOPLE. MOO!

They also have comedically large shoulders, and are all peace & love!

Sadly not called Retbull
Sadly not called Retbull

5) DRAENEI

Tentacled space goats with booty.

Yes, even the men.

disgleirio2

4) GOBLINS

They may be locked into their start experience just like the Worgen, but the difference is that the Goblin start area is actually FUN, and that’s what’s important, kids.

IT'S BEHIND YOU
IT’S BEHIND YOU

3) BLOOD ELVES

The men aren’t the size of houses and are voiced by Liquid Snake. The ladies all give better sassface than even Gnomes.

Plus that casting animation:

DeMolauy

It’s like he’s saying “BITCH I’M AMAZING, CONSIDER YOURSELF LUCKY THAT I AM THE LAST THING YOU’LL EVER SEE.”

2) DWARVES

Poundshopwig and his resplendent beard have really made me fall in love with the diminutive Dwarven race! Being able to turn into stone every so often is pretty damn cool too.

But that beard. THAT BEARD. It demands respect and inspires fear. I envy the lushness and fullness, when all I can grow are smoky wisps of nothing. He oils it every day so that it may inspire all who come into contact with it.

poundshopwig

1) PANDAREN

Like you’re shocked by this. Really.

 

I AM
I AM

I mean have we met?

Not that I'm aware of
Not that I’m aware of

Pandaren are the BOMB, yo.

TOPLESS PANDA PARTY TIME
TOPLESS PANDA PARTY TIME