Panda Steve’s Quick & Dirty LFR Guide: RIFT OF ALN

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Well fancy that, Xavius gets his own wing of LFR all to himself. Good for him.

Guides for the first wing and second wing found here and here.



Horny tentacle goat.

  • 3 phase fight. You have a Corruption bar that adds mechanics to the fight the more full it is. At 33%, avoid giant circles on the ground. At 66%, avoid small ones too. At 100% you deal 150% more damage/healing for 20 seconds, then you become mind controlled.
  • When Xavius hits 95% health, Ysera puts half the raid to sleep. At 60%, the other half sleep. When asleep, you are affected with Dream Simulacrum. When this debuff is removed (either after 3 minutes, on death, or when mind controlled) your Corruption is reduced to 0 and you awaken from the dream to continue the fight as normal, with all your cooldowns reset.
  • There is a tank swap mechanic. At three stacks of Darkening Soul or Blackening Soul, you need to tankswap and move out of the raid. Healers then dispel you.
  • Phase one: Two players will be affected by Nightmare Blades which run in a straight line between them. Move yourselves so that it doesn’t hit anyone else. Kill the huge Corruption Horror add asap. If fixated by a Lurking Terror, run away from it if not dreaming. If you ARE dreaming, make sure you touch it before anyone else.
  • Phase two: Stack for Corruption Meteor so the damage and Corruption gain is split. A number of Inconceivable Horrors spawn at the side of the room. Kill them before they reach Xavius, and dreaming people soak the pools they leave.
  • Phase 3, Nightmare Blades and Corruption Meteor are still a thing. Tentacles spawn when he casts Writhing Deep; frankly you can ignore these and just focus on Xavius. Hero/lust here to end this as fast as possible.

Panda Steve’s Quick & Dirty LFR Guide: TORMENTED GUARDIANS

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Another wing of LFR came out apparently, I was expecting it to release in this coming reset, so better late than never here’s a quick guide to killing everything here!

Part one, Darkbough, is located here.



I can BEARly believe it.

  • Split into two groups. One group stands to his side, the other group stands in front of him.
  • If you get targeted by Focused Gaze, move behind the group that is in front of him. He will charge to that player and do a Barreling Impact which deals a large amount of damage, but this damage is reduced based on how many players he runs through to get to his target.
  • The soaking players get a debuff called Momentum on them. They’re knocked back and take 300% increased damage if they soak another charge, so when he’s finished charging, the two groups need to swap places.
  • Tanks swap immediately after every cast of Overwhelm and Rend Flesh. At 30% health Ursoc will enrage (Blood Frenzy), dealing more damage and attacking faster. Heroism/Bloodust here.
  • No, that’s it. Really.



Dragons dragons everywhere and not a drop to… drink?

  • 4 dragons, shared health pool, but you only ever face two at a time. One is always Ysondre.
  • Split the raid into two groups again, and each goes to one side of the room. The dragons will radiate an aura that smacks a DoT (Mark of Ysondre/Emeriss/Taerar/Lethon) on everyone within 45 yards of it that deals increasing shadow damage and puts you to sleep when it reaches 10 stacks. It applies a stack every 10 seconds, and takes 35 seconds to drop off.
  • The idea is, the tanks swap dragons when they reach about 7 stacks of the Mark, and drag the new dragon over their end of the room. DPS DO NOT FOLLOW THEM or you’ll keep taking stacks and be CC’d for a long time.
  • If you’re ranged and feeling fancy, you can try and plonk yourself in the middle in range of one dragon, and duck in and out of range of the other dragon every so often to multidot. Be wary when doing this though.
  • Tanks, don’t point Corrupted Breath at people. Everyone else, this is a typical Dragon fight so stand to the side of it.
  • Ysondre periodically fires Nightmare Blast at a player’s location. This deals damage to players standing in the mark, knocks them back, and spawns a flower. STAND IN THE FLOWER, otherwise it spawns adds every 3 seconds. Only one person soaks the flower.
  • Healers, dispel the player affected by Defiled Vines. DPS, when dispelled, run out of the Call Defiled Spirit void zone.
  • Taerar summons copies of himself and spawns Seeping Fog that float around and put players to sleep. Avoid fog, kill dragons.
  • Lethon summons adds that spawn out of players near Ysondre. They will float toward Lethon, and if they reach him, they heal BOTH DRAGONS. This is annoying as they share a health pool but get healed twice. Kill these adds and avoid Gloom void zones.
  • Emeriss summons two adds that need to be killed very quickly. Interrupt their Corruption casts. They can also be stunned. If affected by Volatile Infection, move away from other players.



The hills are alive with the sound of moose-ic.

  • When he casts Forces of Nightmare adds will spawn. You can purify one of these adds by standing next to them as Cenarius channels. Generally, you want to purify Wisps. If none are present, go for the Nightmare Ancient.
  • When Malfurion cleanses the add, he also summons a large patch of Cleansed Ground which cleanses a debuff that is constantly stacking throughout the fight. Don’t linger too long in this patch of ground as it shrinks when used. Try to cleanse your stacks when they hit around 30. Purifying the Wisps will spawn more small patches to aid you in stack cleansing. If you always purify the Wisps, you won’t have to deal with their annoying mechanic too.
  • Adds always take priority. Interrupt the Twisted Sisters’ cast of Twisted Touch of Life, or dispel it immediately if they actually get a cast off, as this will heal Cenarius quite a large amount. Move away from people if you have Scorned Touch on you.
  • Rotten Drakes are the next priority, and need to be pointed away from people as they have a breath attack. When they reach 50% health they pulse a powerful AoE, so KILL IT QUICK.
  • Nightmare Ancients periodically do a stomp attack that needs to be soaked by several players. If nobody is in range, then the attack hits the WHOLE RAID.
  • These adds must be tanked far away from Cenarius (at least 20 yards apart) or they start reflecting 50% of damage dealt to them.
  • If you are fixated on by Nightmare Brambles (and you need to pay attention to this as it seems to be untrackable by bossmods) then kite them away from people and to the edges of the room. Rogues and Hunters can run through the bramble patches with Cloak of Shadows/Aspect of the Turtle active to clear them.
  • When Cenarius hits 30% health, he stops summoning adds and the raid should DPS him hard. Pop Hero/Lust here, and feel free to ignore Malfurion if he gets trapped. Nightmare Brambles are still active, so whoever is fixated needs to be mindful, and don’t forget to reset your stacks if they are too high.
  • Tanks swap after every cast of Spear of Nightmares. The more damage this ability does, the larger the void zone it spawns, so pop defensive cooldowns before he casts it. Healers may need to step in with their own damage-reducing cooldowns if the tanks run out.  The idea is to kill Cenarius before you run out of space and die.

Just one boss to go and he gets his own wing for some reason. Xavius comes… and he’s actually easier than Cenarius, fnar.

Panda Steve’s Quick & Dirty LFR Guide: DARKBOUGH

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LFR is delightfully simple compared to Heroic, or even Normal, but there are still occasions where knowing tactics will help you in a fight. To this end, I have decided to give you a brief primer on the first three bosses. Very brief.



Dragon made of bugs. Has bad breath.

  • When affected by Rot, move to the edge of the room and drop the debuff. Try to leave a quarter of the room empty, though. Tanks have a version of this called Volatile Rot. Again, to the edge.
  • Don’t stand in Rot, don’t stand next to people with Rot.
  • She’ll whirl around to a random raid member and breathe Infested Breath all over them in a frontal cone. Move out of it. This also spawns Rot pools.
  • After 2 breaths, she falls to the ground and draws all the pools of Rot into her. This is why you keep an area clear of pools, they damage you as they move in to her.
  • Bugs spawn. If one near you grows in size, MOVE AWAY. It pulses AoE.
  • Rinse, repeat.



Evil tree. Tentacles. The new Elegon?

  • Two phases, each occurs twice.
  • Phase 1! Adds spawn, and they have a priority. Deathglare Tentacles are highest. Interrupt Mind Flay and kill them quick.
  • Corruptor Tentacles are next. Avoid their Spew Corruption. If you get hit, you drop little pools. Drop them on the edge of the room.
  • Dominator Tentacles are third. Kill kill.
  • Nightmare Horrors are fourth. Tanks, face them away from people. DPS, stand behind it.
  • When these adds die they spawn Nightmare Ichor that fixate on a random player. Move these to the big red eye then DPS them down. They will do an AoE on death that damages the eye for 5% of its health.
  • When the eye dies, phase 2 begins. Kill any remaining adds, then run into the heart room and burn the fucker down.
  • Any Ichors still up that enter the heart room explode.
  • When you get Cursed Blood, move to the edge of the room. Don’t hit people with it.
  • You have 50 SECONDS in here, then you absolutely MUST LEAVE or you will die instantly. Leave before it finishes casting Dark Reconstitution.
  • Phase 1 repeats a second time, then phase 2. This is where you do or die. You now have 90 seconds to kill the eye before it casts Final Torpor, or you will wipe.



Spiderbird. Spiderbird. Does whatever a druid… heard?

  • Boss has two forms, spider and birdy. She starts in Spider.
  • When connected to someone through Web of Pain, move close to them.
  • Afflicted with Necrotic Venom? Move away from everybody. You pulse damage to people and drop puddles, bit like Nythendra.
  • Once per spider phase, she climbs into the web for Feeding Time then does Vile Ambush, so avoid the HUGE green circle.
  • She summons adds. Tanks pick them up, everyone DPS them down. They leave a pool when they die, so kill them at the edges, near the other puddles.
  • BIRD TIME! She uses Gathering Clouds, which deals damage and pushes everyone back. When completed, she leaves behind feathers which you can use to quickly move to another platform.
  • She channels Dark Storm which ends when a player gets close to her. Feather users fly over to her, everyone else walk across the web bridges. Avoid the eggs and tornadoes, please.
  • Feather users can slam to the ground to kill Spiderlings that also spawn during this phase.
  • She periodically debuffs people with Twisting Shadows. People affected can run over venomous puddles to clear them, and after 10 seconds they leave a tornado. Move these to the edges, as per usual.
  • Razor Wing is a frontal cone AoE. Don’t stand in front of it. Raking Talons is your tank swap mechanic.
  • After a while she’ll turn back into a spider.

Things I’ve Learned in Legion So Far

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Okay so we’ve had Legion in our greedy little mitts for over a week now, but what have we learned so far? Well let me tell you.

Gul’dan is a bit gullible

So every spec in the game gets its own unique artifact weapon, and for Destruction Warlocks, that weapon is the Scepter of Sargeras. Problem? It’s in the possession of Gul’dan. Oh dear.

It’s up to YOU to infiltrate his forces, sabotage them, nab the fancy stick and make off with it. AND IT WORKS. Eventually you come face-to-face with Gul’dan, and rather than turn you to dust on the spot (you’ve been a thorn in his side for a while now, of course, he KNOWS you and how you’ve foiled all his nefarious schemes), he does this:



He basically does the typical villain thing of “I INSTANTLY BELIEVE YOU!” and tells you and the Nightfallen next to you to fight over who gets to use the scepter while he buggers off to Argus through the portal behind him. He even tells you he might’ve helped that Nightfallen kill you but decided against it.

Yes, he regretted it, as you open a massive amount of portals, decimate his small army, steal his fancy stick and leave him shaking his fist in the wind. Silly Gul’dan.

Khadgar has been perfecting his ways to annoy you


Khadgar pls. Khadgar no why are you here, you CAN’T SIT WITH US.

There’s a crapton to do!

Once you hit level 110 and get Friendly rep with everybody, you unlock your World Quests and BOY OH BOY is there a lot to do! If you’ve been ignoring profession quests too (why?) then you have even more stuff, and honestly this looks like they’ve addressed the whole “there’s nothing to do at level 100!” perception of Warlords. There’s a TON to do! Go do it!

It’s not even “kill 10 badbads” quests either. There are fishing WQ’s, pet battle WQ’s, kill a superpowered boss WQ, even “craft this item then give it to someone” WQ’s! So much to do! So little time. Grind that rep! Grind that artifact power!

I do enjoy grinding, so to speak.

Vanessa VanCleef ain’t dead, yo!


As a lot of people thought/hoped, it turns out you never actually killed her in the Deadmines, or potentially ever even fought her, as you were afflicted with mind-altering poisons at the time! Hallucinations!

She pops up in the Rogue order hall, tries to kill you, fails, and ends up working for you. Happy days! Vanessa is a pretty damn awesome character and I’m glad she makes her triumphant return!

Hunters are even worse now

Barrage seems to be pulling everything ever. Through walls, probably through instance portals or something. It’s maddening, and a poorly-timed/positioned Barrage can end up causing you a lot of trouble. Have fun with that.

SuRrEnDeR tO mAdNeSs!

Priests are dying all the bloody time, and it’s because of this talent. It’s hugely powerful provided you have enough haste to sustain it, and the trouble is, at this stage of the expansion? Nah, that horrible death the tooltip advertises comes a lot sooner than you’d like.


Guards are annoying


Flimsiest disguise ever.


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Invasions invasions invasions. That’s pretty much all I’ve done since they came out, and man am I having a good time! Best experienced in groups with your guild chatting shit on Discord, or at least in my experience, invasions are at the moment the tip-top way to level a character! But what have the invasions taught us? Say hello to Muirisc, the mighty warrior I’ve been spamming these invasions on:


(Muirisc, Muireasc, or Muireasg was a legendary but possibly historical woman who ruled over a territory called Mag Muirisce, because most of my character names MEAN SOMETHING)

Everything has a limit

Or more specifically, Nethershards cap at 2000.


No limit on the amount of treasure chests though, it seems! It’s best to save these as even if you get them at a low level, the items inside scale to the level you opened the box at. I’m gonna get a lot of level 100 shiz, yo.

Hell is other people

I’m “fortunate” enough to be based on Sylvanas EU, which is one of the PvP servers. I know I know, complaining about PvP on a PvP server? How COMMON. But we’re meant to be fighting the Legion here together, stop specifically targeting me and my friends because we’re low level, you level 100 dickheads.

The accidental, passive AoE is less annoying because it’s built into the rotation I guess, but point your Fel Rush elsewhere, and is Barrage really necessary?

(Says the Warrior deliberately Whirlwinding in melee because if you make me suffer, I’m making you suffer too)


It’s really an impressive site when phase 3 begins. We defeat the Demon Lieutenant in Sentinel Hill or Kharanos or wherever, then EVERYBODY mounts up and flies to the bosses and works together, even if they’re not grouped together, to defeat the common foes!

…But that Fel Reaver’s a right bastard, maybe let’s skip that one.

*fel reaver noise*
*fel reaver noise*

The amount of times I’ve been killed deliberately by a Horde as well, and a fellow Alliance person has seen it and obliterated them for me has warmed my heart too. Thanks for killing on my behalf!❤

Eleventh Hour Superpower


In terms of Warlords of Draenor’s relevance clock, it’s 11:50, the curtains are being drawn and we’re putting it to bed, but that doesn’t mean we can’t use the tools the game gave us to make us extra prepared for Legion. Invasion gear is item level 700, the weapons go up to 725, the experience gain if below max level is roughly INSANE, Kazzak drops some hefty good shiz, as do the Broken Shore and after quests. Use this time to get your mains and alts prepared for the new expansion. Sure, you’ll probably replace half this gear at level 104 or something (and those weapons 5 minutes in!) but that doesn’t mean you can’t make the first 3 levels a breeze.

Bear in mind that total time played in the picture above is SLIGHTLY skewed by being on a Panda (meaning being locked into the Wandering Isle, awesome as it is) and a fair amount of AFKing. I have absolutely no doubt someone can do 15-95 (so far) way faster than me.

In conclusion? YOU ARE GOING TO BE PREPARED or something suitably Illidan-themed.

Panda Steve’s Current Pokemon Y Team

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I am progressing slowly but surely in Pokemon Y. I’ve just got my 4th badge, I’ve got a Lucario that I threw in the PC as soon as I could, and I have not got enough fabulous clothes for my character to wear. Important things, yes?

Current Team


Sitting pretty at level 34, Lapras pretty much single-handedly demolished the 4th gym thanks to her Ice Beam move. Apparently of a Docile nature, though she seemed anything BUT docile when she cut an icy swathe through whatever is in front of her.


Doublade is level 39, and his obscenely high attack stat and good movepool so far means he’s probably got something that can knock you down, even if he’s not getting STAB.

Speaking of STAB, despite him being a boy I called him Stabitha.



Deino is level 42. I got him from a Wonder Trade for a Wurmple to my great (lack of) shame. He was a little level 1 powerhouse with Earth Power and Dragon Pulse! Goddamn this line of dragons evolves late.


There are a criminal lack of Golett gifs. Anyway, Tetsujin here is level 30 and a recent addition to the team.



Pangoro is a pokemon that will be in every team I make, because to exclude him would be to invite terrible misfortune upon myself. I mean damn, look how he just throws Meowth like he’s NOTHING.

Penelope the Pangoro is level 37 and likes punching.


At the moment I don’t have a 6th. Ideally I want a Fairy type, and it’s a toss-up between these two, though it looks like Clefairy is winning.

… Damn they’re fighting like Peggy and Pat in Eastenders.

“YOU BITCH!” *slap*
“YOU COW!” *slap*

I’ve put a level 1 Spiritomb up on the GTS for a level 1-10 Clefairy. You know you wanna.

The Positives (and Negatives) of the Prepatch So Far

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Legion’s prepatch has been released for over a week now, enough time for 2 raid test days in the guild, and enough time to begin to form opinions about how I’m going to approach the newest expansion come the end of August. Plenty of positives to draw on thus far, but also a couple of negatives, so let’s get stuck in!

Positive: Warlocks!

Demonology is probably the most fun spec I’ve played in years. It feels great to summon a small army of demons to do my bidding, and the playstyle of the spec itself is very involved. It’s not an easy spec per se, given there’s a lot to track and small mistakes can cost you, but when it all comes together, it’s something very special. It’s kind of lacking in the AoE department mind, but I’m unconcerned about that at the moment.

Demo isn’t the only fun spec, however. Affliction, which I have RAILED on for years as being dull and uninspiring is kinda sorta actually pretty fun now. I don’t know what did it, perhaps the fact that it feels like the DoTs actually hit hard now, or the extra DoT to manage if you take the Siphon Life talent, or that Soul Effigy turns even a boring single target yawnfest into a 2-target multiDoT extravaganza. Affliction is very speedily becoming my go-to offspec of choice. Perhaps… perhaps it’ll displace Demo? Who knows? The fact it has a LOT of survivability too (Siphon Life as a DoT, and Drain Life as filler grant a good amount of healing to you) means it’s the spec du jour for old raid soloing.

However, not all is sunshine and sparkles in Warlock land…

Negative: Warlocks?!

My main spec for the last 4 years, Destruction, just doesn’t FEEL right any more. Perhaps it’s the loss of Burning Embers as the resource in favour of Soul Shards, perhaps it’s the feeling that something’s just… missing? I can’t put my finger on it but there’s something about Destro in Legion that doesn’t gel well with me. It’s sad because as mentioned, for the last 4 years Destro has been my THING, but while Demo is the new hotness and Affliction has gained something, it seems to have been at the cost of Destro’s interest. Perhaps it’s just stagnant? The fact that it hasn’t really gained anything of note could  be the problem I am having. Hopefully the artifact weapon will solve that? I sure hope so.

Destro? No thanks!
Destro? No thanks!

Positive: The Wardrobe!

My transmog items are FINALLY account-wide! I can doll up my low-level characters as I level, I can collect items and looks and clear out my fucking bags and void storage! There’s no excuse for ugly characters now! The UI is really good too, even if sometimes items take a while to load properly. Perhaps that’s just my laptop acting stupid though.

Negative: The wardrobe?!

Gotta go to Firelands.

Gotta get the clothes.

Gotta go to Dragon Soul.

Gotta get the clothes.

Gotta go to Mount Hyjal.

A million waves of adds.

Oh god help me.

Gotta get the clothes gotta be fabulous gotta collect them all WHY WILL THAT HELM NOT DROP GOD FUCKING DAMN YOU

Aysa's upset that Kargath didn't drop The Bladefist AGAIN
Aysa’s upset that Kargath didn’t drop The Bladefist AGAIN

Positive: Pirates and Martial Artists

Windwalker, much like Affliction, seems to not have gained much at all on the face of things, but when you really look at it, it strikes you as being completely different. Combo Strikes, the new Mastery, rewards you for using different abilities in succession, granting 10% increased damage to abilities that aren’t a repeat of the ability that preceded it. It changes the spec from “spam BOK when things are on cooldown” to making you think about what you are actually doing, and rewards increasing the complexity of the spec through active talents. More buttons to press means you’re less likely to repeat an ability, meaning you can keep Combo Strikes going!

Similarly, Outlaw Rogue is the shiny new hotness. It’s certainly very RNG with Roll the Bones, but you know what? I kinda like that. Predictability, while safe, is rather dull, and RtB is certainly unpredictable. I also love the swooshing noises when you attack, and Grappling Hook is an awesome ability that I will never not use.

Negative: Animal Lovers

The above specs have seen either a small but significant change, or an entire revamp. A class that has seen both are Hunters, in that Beast Mastery and Marskman have seen small changes, while Survival is now completely different, going from ranged to melee. I’ve not dicked around with Survival yet (need to get an heirloom polearm for the baby Gnome Hunter), but if the other two specs, I may end up underwhelmed. I’m utterly uninspired by both BM and MM, which is a shame because I DEFINITELY want a Hunter in Legion for the added extra stuff (mechanical pets, Thok, Iron Juggernaut, aaaaaaaah) and if I dislike Survival too? Poor TrebuWHAT may end up stuck in New Tinkertown forever and ever.

Trebu... what?
Trebu… what?

So that concludes my list so far. Other changes that I enjoy include the Silence penalty (though I’ve not personally seen it in action, I appreciate that it’s there) and the addition of new toys to the toybox (RAINBOW GENERATOR!) What changes are right up YOUR alley? Let me know!