Football Manager: (Weald)Stone Roses

I will update this often, but not always as often as three times in a single week! I think I was just enthused about doing a save that I’m writing about, it gives me an impetus to both play a game I love, and also write stuff, which is something I’m hoping to improve on!

When we last left things, we limped to a boring 0-0 draw versus Eastleigh, which is fine. Not every football match is a scintillating 10-goal bonanza, sometimes both teams cancel eachother out.

Some stats! I like stats. The board are happy with me, though they are concerned still about the performances of Michee Efete. Danny Parish is my best performing player, and despite all our fouls and yellow cards, we’ve not had a sending off yet!

BROMLEY (predicted finish: 14th)

Our next opponents are Bromley, and much like Wealdstone, are performing a little above expectations this season, as they are currently eighth in the table, one place below us! In fact, they have the same record as us in the league so far, the only reason we’re above them is because of our better goal difference (goals scored minus goals conceded).

They’re riding into our territory on a fairly middling form (3W, 2L in their last five games) so here’s hoping we can inflict a defeat on them! The last match we won in the league was against Woking. We’ve lost twice and drawn once since then, and there’s always a danger that morale will drop if your form is bad enough, and low morale means poor form, and it all spirals and ends with you being sacked, probably. Our fortunes need to change!

It’s already starting to have an effect! Oh no!

They’re good at long shots, with weak goalies. A common theme in this league, it feels like. They play a cautious game, but it’s a route one tactics, a perennial favourite amongst the lower league teams. Hoof it to the big guy up front and hope he scores!

Their formation even matches our own (we’re on the top half, they the bottom)!

Another nice statistical graph the game gives you is a general performance comparison.

We get more goals per game, theirs are more on target. Our shots are about the same, they concede more. We’re basically two fairly evenly matched teams, and our performance analyst has branded them “tough to beat,” presumably because they are so similar to ourselves. So, another 0-0 draw to follow?

The day of the match, a curious email appears in my inbox!

Potentially spicy times ahead! Now, when you get news of a potential takeover, there are several possibilities. It could fall through, it could be just rumours, there could be a takeover by a fan consortium, or a local businesssman, a board member may be trying to oust the chairman, or you may even get the Manchester City treatment of a foreign tycoon investing a LOT of money into you! We’ll just have to wait and see how it pans out. Onto the match!

It was not a good display! And frankly it was with sheer luck we scraped a draw! Jorome Slew was the best player on the whole pitch, and he came on as a substitute in the 75th minute! I’m not terribly discouraged about this though, as we’ve just had a monthly performance report through, and we’re actually performing above the league average in every metric, and our Danny Parish came third in the Player of the Month award!

It’s something to build on. Especially as the point we gained from drawing has seen us climb UP a place in the table!

KING’S LYNN (predicted finish: 21st)

Now this is a team we SHOULD beat. Surely? They’re predicted to finish lower than even us, they’ve won only once in the opening seven matches, they concede on average 1.8 goals per game and score on average 1 per game, and that average is dragged up by their 4-4 draw vs Altrincham! Still, we’re facing them having only had two days of rest between fixtures, so a bit of rotation might be in order. Maybe have Slew start a game, so he can have an impact from minute one!

Good handlers, aggressive markers, bad at jumping. Like my old school’s basketball team. They adopt a more attacking mentality, which can explain their one goal per game average, but also their habit of conceding. They’re also yet to win at home so far this season, and we’re visiting them for this fixture. The omens are good!

You have got to be fucking kidding me.



Poor form!

Low morale!

It’s time to right this ship. First, a tactic change.

We’re going on the offensive. Being too defensive is punishing us at the moment, we need to be getting out there and scoring, while changing how we engage with the opponent when not in possession.

Next a team meeting, to say that while we’ve been poor, we’ve got the ability to turn it around!

It did not go well. Oh well, we have a cup game against a higher league team to flail about in.


They are better than us. There’s no two ways about it, this is a match we are expected to lose. They’re tenth in the division above us, they’re a good team in general, and their form is currently slightly better than ours.

Their goalies are handsy though! Fisticuffs!

Here’s hoping they punch it to one of our players, or better yet into their own damn net.

Forever looking for hope in the most curious of places, I’ve just seen a bit of a giant killing take place.

Bath beat Bolton! A team from the league below me beat the team on top of the league above me! If Bath can do it, Wealdstone SURELY can!

No. No. No.

SUTTON (predicted finish: 15th)

Here’s another team punching above their weight a little. Currently sitting in sixth place, Sutton are enjoying a form of four wins and one (heavy!) loss in their last five, but they go into their match having played three days before, whereas we have had a week break to hopefully recover a bit of fitness, owing to Boreham Wood having our match rearranged because four of their regular squad members were called up to international teams for the week.

The extra training will hopefully help.

Sutton are apparently fairly even in quality to us, so it will be tactics that play the key role in the match! Our offensive, attacking style versus their cautious catenaccio (lit. “door bolt”, implying a strong defensive backline) style.

We have Wrexham after this one. Deadpool and Mac’s club. We NEED a morale booster.

And this was not to be it. A collapse in the final ten minutes, a missed interception well into injury time. This is not working out.

And we face the league leaders next.

Fucking hell.

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