How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria?

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I don’t know either, but let’s talk about Demonology instead. It’s been noted that the spec has issues, some of them stemming from Demonic Empowerment and the slow ramp-up of the spec in general. “This is a large problem that requires iteration, not just a numbers fix” says Ion Hazzithingymajig back in December last year, so how can we improve the spec?

Here’s my idea. Note that this is more of a revamp, not a “WoD Survival Hunter to Legion Survival Hunter” complete overhaul. I love the idea of being a summoner, and I’d like to… refine it? Help improve it? Well, we’ll see.

Soul Shards

Gone. No more. The core of my idea is moving to a more cooldown-centric style of play, as opposed to “filler to make shards, spend, filler again” like we do now. A few spells would change as a result, so let’s look at the core rotational abilities, namely Shadow Bolt, Doom, Summon Dreadstalkers, Hand of Gul’dan, and Demonic Empowerment.

Doom

It’s rarely worth casting this on any add as it only ticks the once, and by the time you’ve Doomed a number of things, they’ve started to die, unless you drop a Hand of Gul’dan on them with the Hand of Doom talent. Your Darkglare would have nothing to shoot its lasers at! My fix? Ehh, make it tick twice over the duration? Once halfway through, once at the end.

Hand of Gul’dan

With my proposed binning of Soul Shards, Hand of Gul’dan would become a combination of the version of the spell we have now, and the version from Mists. Basically, make it instant cast and have 2 charges, with a 10 second recharge time. The meteor drops, enemy is hit, 4 imps are summoned. These imps last 30 seconds. Why so long? Because of a new ability I would add that I will detail later on.

Summon Dreadstalkers

Eh, frankly this ability is alright as it is. Don’t take my feldoggies away! Maybe make them last longer but with a longer cooldown (15 seconds duration/20 second cooldown?).

Shadow Bolt

The filler, the ability you cast when there’s nothing to do. Give it a 10% chance to generate a charge of Hand of Gul’dan.

Demonic Empowerment

Currently, this buffs all your active demons’ haste and health by 50% and 20% respectively, and through your mastery also slaps on a damage boost to them. In my version of Demonology, the damage boost via mastery is a passive, at-all-times damage boost, and Demonic Empowerment becomes a 2 minute cooldown that buffs your the haste and health of your demons, and DOUBLES the effect of your mastery for x amount of time. This is a spell you’ll have active on your demons at all times anyway, so the damage boost might as well become a passive and the spell itself be used as a major DPS cooldown.

Life Tap

I know you’d like me to say “GET RID OF IT!” but in my Demonology vision, it becomes even more integral due to a BRAND NEW SPELL I would add:

Demonic Sacrifice

Remember I said I’d extend the duration a group of imps stays summoned for from 12 seconds to 30? Well, here’s why. This spell, on a 90 second cooldown, costs all your remaining mana and all of your imps, and from their/your energy, a powerful new demon is summoned.

  • 4 imps, or one Hand of Gul’dan-worth, nets you one of those fancy Demonic Jailers. You know, with the cage on their back?
  • 8 imps? An Inquisitor is yours!
  • 12 imps? Gosh, here’s a Fel Lord!
  • 16 imps? I dunno, a dreadlord?
  • Did you get lucky with your Shadow Bolt procs and have 20 or more imps? Well here’s the PIT LORD you always wanted!

The fact this summoning drains all your mana to use as well as eats up all your imps necessitates the usage of Life Tap. Combine this with Demonic Empowerment for a hugely powerful demon! It’d naturally have to be worth the cost of the spell, so have each of the demons do a similar amount of damage as the equivalent number of imps used to summon it, +4. While I’m at it, making new spells, how about we bring an old one back?

Imp Swarm

Back in Mists/Warlords, you could use Glyph of Imp Swarm to give you the ability to summon 4 imps instantly, on a 2 minute cooldown. Seeing as my Demonology vision bins the Soul Shards, make Imp Swarm a level 100 talent that replaces Soul Conduit. It contributes to burst, especially when opening, and would help you get a Fel Lord out through Demonic Sacrifice relatively quickly (2 Hands, Imp Swarm, Demonic Sacrifice, Life Tap, resume normal rotation).

Conclusion

This is just an idea. We may not even get a revamp for Battle for Azeroth, but it’d certainly be nice for some of the issues that have been addressed by Blizzard themselves to be sorted out. Maybe my idea would create MORE issues, I don’t know, I’m no designer. Just an enthusiastic Warlock who’s stuck with Demonology through thick and thin this expansion.

I love the spec, but it can be improved. Here’s to hoping.

Don’t go thal’kiel, I’ll miss you! 😦
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You Know What’s Missing From WoW?

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I haven’t done a list of things in a while, so here we go. NOTE, some things may not be entirely serious.

  • Red Mage-esque hats for clothies.
  • Also, let us have some neck items that actually show up on characters! Not just necklaces either, but things like ruffs! Ascots!
  • Player housing for the love of god.
  • PANDAREN WARLOCKS.
  • Shit just make Pandaren be every class, that way I can race change everything and finally be happy.
  • Odyn-shaped training dummies, because MAN I’d love to beat that guy up on a regular basis without having to traipse through the Halls of Valor for 6 years.
  • Wrathion. More dragonbro please.
  • Hunter healing spec where they shoot bandages and medicine at people.
  • Warrior healing spec where they charge/heroic leap around and shout at people to make them feel better. Every ability has a yelled emote like “PAIN IS JUST WEAKNESS LEAVING THE BODY!” and whatnot.
  • Tentacle mount. Slither slither.
  • Old God mount. Like, I want a miniature Old God to fly around on.
  • Val’kyr mount. We helped Eyir out a few times, have her be all “strap a saddle on me and let’s fly away together!”

  • That mask above as a permanent transmog item. Preferably without the tanks on the back too.
  • Khadgar-shaped training dummies.
  • Affliction Warlock combat animations. ’cause aside from Drain Life, what is there to look at? Everyone knows the bigger the firework show, the more damage you do!
  • A proper, in-game capital city for gnomes. Let them have Gnomeregan finally, or maybe even let them build some new steampunk-esque city somewhere!
  • I would say let Worgen have Gilneas back too but I don’t care enough.
  • Playable ethereals!
  • 80’s hairstyles. Think Bonnie Tyler or Kim Wilde.

So, the sooner Blizzard start working on this stuff, the better as far as I am concerned, darlings.

Panda Steve’s Totally Serious Guide To Soloing Argus Stuff

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Yes, it’s me, it’s your boy Panda Steve and today I’m going to give you really amazing advice on how to survive that hellscape we call Argos wait, we’re not talking about the catalogue shop?

1) Be A Warlock/Hunter With A Pet/Tank

Yeah, seriously. Mages can kite stuff, but everything’s so tightly packed together you’ll end up backing away from demon motherfuckers right into OTHER demon motherfuckers, or fuckin’ fel lava, or off a small cliff into a crevasse you can’t jump out of, or just off the planet completely (THANKS MAC’AREE).

That’s seriously all the advice I have for you. That place is ruddy brutal on everything I’ve played, bar my Warlock. Being a tanky clothy helps, moreso though having Arakzekeel tank everything with that gormless face of his.

Those invasion portals? Those are quite fun. I’ve done a good number of those, hoovered up the AP rewards, sent the tokens to my alts, collected Argus Waystones which’ll be removed from the game come reset. That mushroom planet and the ice planet, though? They can fuck right off.

Mac’Aree doesn’t seem to want to spawn any world quests either. That seems to be a problem.

In Warlock-related news, I’ve fallen back in love with Demonology, thanks to a “meme build” that uses Shadowy Inspiration, Power Trip and Soul Conduit to generate/keep Soul Shards, and spam Demonic Empowerment/Instant Shadow Bolts to take maximum advantage of the new golden trait, Thal’kiel’s Ascendance.

Basically, you use Doom, Hand of Gul’dan and Summon Dreadstalkers as you normally would (when it’s about to drop, when you have 4 shards, and on cooldown respectively) but your filler becomes Demonic Empowerment (to fish for the proc, fish for a shard with Power Trip, and to proc Shadowy Inspiration) followed immediately by Shadow Bolt (made instant cast thanks to Shadowy Inspiration). I’ve seen a lot of people moan about this playstyle, but I find it immensely fun and rewarding, which means it’ll probably be nerfed before long. FUN IS NOT ALLOWED.

Oh, also did I mention?

BYE BYE FOREVER, ULDUAR.

Alts

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While I’ve migrated back to the Warlock, thanks to Destruction actually becoming fun again, I’m spending more time at the moment on my alts, with Fuhai the Hunter getting her days in the spotlight right now.

Initially she was Beast Mastery (even acquiring the “best” DPS legendary for it), she’s since switched to Marksmanship because I’m finding the heavy hitting nature of it pretty cool right now (and whaddya know, I got the “best” DPS legendary for that spec too today, what a coincidence). This is a common theme for me; a lot of my alts started off as one spec (“this spec is the best and most fun!”) only for me to realise that actually, I prefer one or both of the others. Case in point, Huomofa, whose name in Chinese is 火魔法, which literally means FIRE MAGIC, started off as a Fire Mage, and is now a Frost Mage. Shokei the Demonology Warlock is now Shokei the Destruction Warlock. Muirisc the Arms Warrior is now all about that Fury.

It’s never a numbers thing. It’s always a playstyle thing.

8 down. 4 to go. Two of them with a considerable amount more to do. Maybe the Druid will be the next pet project? She’s a worgen, ’cause pandas can’t be Druids yet.

She’s also apparently wearing the same mog as my Hunter, which means one of them is going to have to go home and change.

Look to the Future? NAH

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7.3 is set in Argus, but who gives a crap about that? That’s decades away, or it may as well be. What’s going on NOW?

Tomb of Sargeras

This is a pretty damn fun instance. Okay sure there are boring fights (HI GOROTH, HARJATAN) and this tier seems to be the tier of “everyone stack to split the damage of something” (HI HARJATAN, DESOLATE HOST, MOON SISTERS, MISTRESS SASSZ’INE, MAIDEN OF VIGILANCE, KIL’JAEDEN, gosh this is a prevalent theme) but it’s still really good. Desolate Host on Heroic is a weird clusterfuck and I don’t know what’s going on even though I’ve read guides and watched videos. It’s just… what the what? Also when I do my opening burst AoE right at the start of the fight I have a frightening tendency to get briefly targeted by the boss and instakilled. Huzzah.

5/9 HC so far. Mistress Snakebitch can do one.

Warlockitude

I’m slowly gearing up my Warlock so she can perform a coup on my Shaman and become my main again. It’s honestly stunning how a simple change as “bringing back the Burning Embers mechanic” made me fall in love with Destruction again. Shokei is item level 900, with the Destro artifact’s Concordance of the Legionfall, and she’s as skimpy as ever. I think I might sort out Demonology’s artifact next, considering it too is a fun spec. Gotta hear what Thal’kiel thinks of all the fancy places we go to!

Just know that when the day comes that Pandaren can become Warlocks, I am race changing the SHIT outta Shokei. PANDAREN FOR LIFE.

Having recently got some fantastic Destro legendaries (Feretory of Souls, Lessons of Space-Time) I feel pretty comfortable with my Warlock again. It’s a good place to be in.

WORLD QUESTS FOREVER

So many. So numerous. Never-ending. You’d think the inhabitants would be able to sort their own shit out by now but apparently not. It must be me killing the dinosaur-bird-things, or fetching materials, or playing barrel games with the Kirin Tor who REALLY have better things to be doing, honestly.

Being FABTABULOUS

Of course all my characters look fantasWHAT THE FUCK ARE THOSE?!

THE MIGHTY YOPAAT: A Day in the Life

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This post is me taking part in Z & Cinder’s Blog Challenge 20: A Day in the Life of Your Toon because for fuck’s sake I need to blog more often

The Mighty Yopaat, Farseer of the Earthen Ring

Has quite a ring to it, doesn’t it? It makes you think of power and dignity and other assorted stuff like that, right? Well let me tell you, I sure don’t feel it right now.

I seem to spend my time dogsbodying for that lazy mage Khadgar, performing meaningless errands for the disparate groups that pepper the Broken Isles, or babysitting so-called “champions,” telling them where to go and what to do. It seems the Kirin Tor are more interested in playing games with barrels than fighting the legion.

Let’s take today. I went to Aszuna. I freed some of those morose demon hunters and killed their captors. I picked some weird fel flower. I extracted murloc eyes from their heads and stole a hydra’s egg. I killed a ghost, which is surely impossible as they’re already dead. Another ghost gave me a box with nothing of interest inside. Tomorrow I may well end up in Val’sharah doing other pointless errands.

Ah, but you’re not here to hear me complain about my lot in life, are you? Yes, I do try and relax sometimes.

I spend a lot of time in The Legerdemain Lounge. They do the nicest coffee on Azeroth, you know. A rich, dark Kun-Lai roast, none of this icy Highmountain rubbish. I enjoy the kick, it gives me the spark I need to make my own brews. Not coffee, mind, but potions. See, in my spare time I indulge in a bit of alchemy. I refuse to pay those scalpers at the auction house for herbs, mind, so I go and pick my own. I’ve got quite the knowledge of herbs now, though I still occasionally disintegrate Starlight Rose. Fat furry fingers, you know?

The alchemy shop being opposite Like Clockwork is an annoyance though. Explosions and robots fighting day in, day out. At least I’m able to make potions without Deucus’s supervision.

I still see Thrall occasionally. He likes to ask me if I’m taking good care of Doomhammer. Haven’t the heart to tell him it’s collecting dust in the care of some goblins, along with Sharas’dal. Sure, hitting things with a hammer is somewhat cathartic, but I don’t want to fall into that trap of “if all you have is a hammer, every problem looks like a nail.” I much prefer to keep my distance, less chance of being bludgeoned myself, you know?

I don’t tend to socialise much. My fellow shamans tend to be rather stuffy and constantly in a state of elemental reverence, which is fine and all but take a break sometime, yeah? Not that other groups are better. The warlocks freak me out, the mages and paladins are full of themselves, the death knights and demon hunters are too… you know? Just too. Too much. And the druids? Worse than shaman! That said I do have a few friends I see every so often. There’s a warlock that seems less weird than the others, there’s a pretty cute monk I see meditating in Dalaran occasionally, and I know a rogue that opens locked boxes for me, and in return I give her potions. She’s got a missing eye too. Maybe I’ll ask her story one day?

Maybe not. She seems like that might be a sore point for her.

My eye? Oh it’s silly, really. You don’t wanna know.

THE FIRE-BREATHING HORSE OF CAPITALISM

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Back when I was in school, I studied GCSE sociology, and when I went to college I studied it for A Level too. The study of society seemed like an interesting topic, moreso than the other options I had back then (so interesting were these other options, I don’t even remember them). Of course, there is a bit of a stigma with studying something like sociology, namely the “you didn’t want to study anything USEFUL?” one, which actually led to one of the biggest regrets of my life, when I chose to study accounting and economics at university (“they’ll be more useful in the future!”) rather than sociology, which I actually ENJOYED.

Anyway, this wasn’t to bitch about poor life choices, I have a story for you all. Gather round, children, and let me regale you with the tale of the fire-breathing horse of capitalism!

One of the topics we studied was the Marxist perspective of various aspects of society, and we were split into groups and tasked with making a poster about what the Marxist perspective of the education system was. Naturally, the other groups basically made a wall of text split into bullet points about various aspects of the Marxist ideology. My group?

We went high concept. We went ARTY.

We drew a building representing a school but resembling a factory, with humans going in one side and emerging as robots, who then filed into other factories to be put to work, representing the proletariat. We had this idea that schools taught them WHAT to think rather than HOW, reprogramming the proletariat into mindless drones (there are other methods Marxists identify that exert ideological control, usually involving the media or religion). This “product line” was overseen by an evil businessman with a briefcase and a large whip, representing the bourgeois. Any person that deviated from the lines filing into or out of the factories were set upon by a fearsome winged horse that breathed fire for some reason, the FIRE-BREATHING HORSE OF CAPITALISM. I guess it represents the police? Or some other force the bourgeois use to crush any sort of rebellious uprising.

Had we had more time, we’d probably have created a group underground of escapees, representing some burgeoning revolution, but sadly we only had half an hour and we spent a lot of that making the horse look fucking amazing.

Now, I know it all sounds OTT, but truth was, we just wanted to draw a winged fiery horse, and had to come up with a hasty justification for it. I think we were pretty successful.