Darling It’s Better Down Where It’s Wetter

TAKE IT FROM MEEEEEEEEEE

So we’ve been traipsing around Nazjatar and Mechagon since the end of June now, helping fish people, jumping on jellyfish, camping for rare spawns that drop mounts, and other general shenanigans, but what have we learned so far?

TIMELESS ISLE-STYLE CONTENT IS FUN!

The last main content patch of Mists of Pandaria brought the Timeless Isle for us to play with, and honestly if we hadn’t had to spend half a million years there it might have been remembered slightly more fondly. Yet, that was possibly one of the best pieces of content (in a patch that brought us a brilliant raid and the flex raiding mode) in one of the best expansions to date. Freeform, exploratory content, with places to go, things to collect, rares to kill and methods of gearing up not just yourself but alts too. The closest we’ve had to that since is Mechagon and Nazjatar. Argus and Tanaan Jungle were lacking that special something (I think it might be “colours other than fel green”) but these two zones we have now are just so fun to roam around in!

PLATFORMING SUCKS

I hated it in Spires of Arak. I hated it when the Kirin Tor tried to make a game of it. I hate it now in northern Nazjatar. Sorry little jellyfish, but you’re gonna have to fucking stay up there.

PUZZLES DO NOT SUCK

every world quest should just be this one

forever pic.twitter.com/NauF0DIFWs

— Panda Steve has got the taste! 🐼 (@ItsPandaSteve) July 1, 2019

Wow what a wise tweet from a wise man, everyone should go follow him like right now or something.

RAIDING IS FUN

The Eternal Palace is, so far, a bloody fantastic raid. Okay, the Blackwater Behemoth is a bit of a boring dud, and Za’qul is a horribly complicated (but fun!) mess of a fight, but honestly it’s one of the best raids they’ve released! The sound effect for Dribbling Ichor on the Orgozoa fight is absolutely horrifying though. Makes me feel all odd and not in a good way.

Best boss: Lady Ashvane, mainly because it’s satisfying to finally bring her down after she’s plagued us all expansion.
Worst boss: Blackwater Behemoth, because YAWN.
Fishiest boss: Azshara, obvs.
Deja vu boss: Radiance of Azshara. Didn’t we kill you in Legion? Go away!

ROGUES LOOK COOL

ALEA IACTA EST pic.twitter.com/gYySd18Jr5

— Panda Steve has got the taste! 🐼 (@ItsPandaSteve) July 21, 2019

Look at how Fujikomine throws those dice! Watch her only get one buff, and the worst possible one!

MM, THE WAY TO GO

Having been a warlock for part of the expansion, I changed mains to my hunter, and I was MM for a while, until having to dance around Bwonsamdi broke my poor little brain and I went BM because EVERYTHING CAST WHEN MOVE. Now I feel comfortable going back to MM in Azshara’s house, and I’m having a whale of a time.

Thanks to having 2 on-use trinkets AND an Azerite ability, I have like 10 buttons I need to press on a regular basis too.

1, 2, 3 and 4 are main rotational abilities, 5 is my Azerite ability, 6 is a trinket, 7 and A4 are defensives, R is my AoE, M5 is a once per fight dealio, A1 and A2 are cooldowns, A3 is another trinket and M4 makes me fly backwards. I use all of these quite a lot.

And they said MM was a 2 button spec. Damn.

DARK IRON DWARVES LOOK HELLA COOL

Fuckin’ look at her!

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THIS IS FAR FROM THE STRONGEST OF SWORDS

Oops sorry, no swords here, but here we do have the finest hat. The best hat. The most… tentacular.

But all these fabulous fedoras, these stunning sombreros, this majestic millinery, these brilliant bowlers, they distract us from the most important thing.

Stealth follower missions are the biggest piles of shit in this entire expansion

Thanks for your time.

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Oh, in other news, I’m going to give you some advice on the LFR fight MOTHER.

• Nominate someone who knows the fight. Make them group leader so they can send raid alerts.
• Tank in group 1, Other tank in group 5. Healer in each.
• Send over groups one at a time from one room to the next. Wait until everyone’s healed, send in the next group.
• Kill the adds.
• DON’T all run into the second room at once. You’ll die.
• DON’T keep MOTHER in the first room until it explodes. You’ll die.

Thanks for playing.

Oh, and bounce the ball on Zek’voz. If you don’t, you guessed it, you’ll die.

THEY COME

The Old Gods are coming! The Old Gods are coming! THOQ FSSH N’ZOTH! ETH’RAZZQI WORG ZZ OU! A̭͍͕̦̠̭̿͌̓̆Q̣͚͎̭̤̣Ě̬̮̙̰̣̻͌V́̅ͮ̍ A̯̯̪̱ͥ̌̓͊̆ͪ̚Q̘̖̰̺͉̪̭͎ͫ̆̄͑͊̎E̜̘̲̱̮̘̯͇ͭ͑͊̎ͥ͒V̜͙̥͇̺̰̰̾͆ A͈̩̼͚̗͓̖͒Q̗̪̻͉ͫ͛͜͝E̴̢̥̲̻͎̦̞̣͐̿ͩ͌ͅV̧̛͓͇̄͡

I mean, probably.

Things I Love In The Prepatch So Far

• 8.0 Demonology is honestly the best, most fun iteration of Demonology I have ever played! It combines the demon summoning of Legion (but cuts out the boring Demonic Empowerment spam) with the Molten Core gameplay of Mists (but cuts out the stupid Metamorphosis weaving) and honestly, it ends up being something just supremely fun and interesting! Plus, the chance to summon Prince Melchezaar is just lovely. Give me Jaraxxus too and I’ll never change spec again.
• Sticking on the Warlock front, 8.0 Affliction is actually rather interesting too. Reap Souls has thankfully gone into the bin (sadly so has Soul Flame but we can’t have everything our way), and I enjoy the Deathbolt gameplay so far. Going back to a casted filler rather than a channelled one feels a bit better as well. No more do I feel like a bargain basement Shadow Priest.
• STORY. MORE STORY. It’s not exactly going the way I’d like it to so far, but I am confident there’ll be some interesting twists and turns. REMEMBER PEOPLE, this is just the prologue to the expansion, there’s a shitload more stuff to come, and I fully expect some of it to be tentacular.
• I like that Mistweaver Monk has the castable Soothing Mist back, and you can do instant Vivify/Enveloping Mist through it. Makes it a little different to other healers. Plus I love Fistweaving, and a few of their new talents gives that gameplay style a very tidy little boost. Can’t wait to test it out in a raid environment!
• The anticipation everyone has for the new expansion. It’s so close!

Also I am enjoying levelling this minx up

Things I Hate In The Prepatch So Far

• Something feels like it’s “missing” from Destruction. Probably the lack of fire-spewing portals from the artifact. I liked those.
• “Your talents have been reset” nooooooo now I have to look things up!
• I, like many, many others, am a little miffed at the events that have transpired in the story recently. Still, there’s another week to go, and I suspect the Alliance will get a satisfying retribution. For all the moaning that the Alliance is losing an important racial capital on Kalimdor, it’s important to remember the Horde are losing their only bastion on the Eastern Kingdoms too. Whether or not that is a like-for-like is up to you to decide, but this whole faction conflict does not seem entirely one-sided. Shame it has to be the Horde ACTING, and the Alliance REACTING yet again though.
• Inxy, the lovely Goblin up there, is currently flying around the WoD zones, levelling via bonus areas and collecting treasures, and rocketing her way to level 100. Kinda wish that was viable in Legion content too. Powerlevel via exploration!
• Sylvanas’s movie needed a sea shanty like Jaina’s. Yo ho ho and a bottle of plague, that sorta thing.

The Long March to New Stuff

The time has come. We have a new expansion looming (well, it’s actually a long way away but still), and it’s time for Panda Steve to get all his ducks in a row and sort out what he wants to do, and when he wants to do it by. And maybe who he wants to do it on. Let’s start with the main, shall we?

Shokei

Sitting at a juicy 930, Shokei the Demonology Warlock is by far my most geared character. Aims?

• Get to at least level 75 on the artifact. This’ll be really easy, as she’s who I actively play as, and who I’ll be taking into Antorus every week.
• Complete the Affliction mage tower challenge. Apparently I need a particular legendary for this, Sacrolash’s Dark Strike. I’ve tried without it and I get absolutely mullered, so I throw myself onto the mercy of RNG. Still, having got both the Destruction AND Demonology appearances, getting the Affliction one would complete the set!
• Finish off Balance of Power I suppose? And maybe the Illidan stuff with Xe’ra? And get the class mount?

Lunchi

Having been used quite a lot in the Nighthold, alongside Yopaat the Shaman, both their progress has sort of been halted by the resurgent Shokei. I may use Yopaat on and off in the future, but Lunchi’s a character I definitely want to get up to speed again, if only for the usefulness of having a backup healer in the guild. Current item level is a shocking 904, artifact level (Mistweaver) 50. Aims!

• Crank that item level up. Argus content will help with that.
• With the ever-increasing AK level we’re getting, firing up her weapon will also be relatively straight forward.
• Attempt the mage tower challenge on her again. It went very badly the last few times.
• If we get the opportunity for Antorus alt runs (and let’s be honest, we’re looking at another 9-12 months until BfA, so we definitely will), drag her along and throw magical mist clouds at people.

Well, that’s the Alliance sorted, but with two separate levelling experiences for Alliance and Horde next expansion, it behooves me to level up another character, one that can see the other side of the story, over there in Zandalar. Say hello to:

Ellesario

Panda Steve’s token Horde representation is here in the form of Holy Priest Ellesario. She’ll gladly heal your wounds, for a price! While levelling her in BfA is not a priority (getting Shokei to 120 and raid ready is), she’ll be the side project, the one I play in downtime, when I wanna see the other half of the story. Priorities here:

• Getting her to level 110. She’s 29 at the moment, and dungeon spamming. She loves it when Warlocks and Hunters leap off ledges in Gnomeregan without dismissing their pets. Please drag EVERY ENEMIES to us, it’s so fun.
• Getting her to a decent item level and artifact level. I’m gonna settle for a tidy 920 and eventual 70.
• Getting her some priest tier sets! Gotta look fabulous at all times!
• Taking more screenshots of her, because hot DAMN goblins are almost as photogenic as pandaren. Almost.

Battle for Azeroth is literal decades away, but it doesn’t mean we can’t start readying our characters for the transition! New content ahoy! Sort of!

Battle for Azeroth Speculation

A blog post two days in a row? From me? Who am I and what have I done with the REAL Panda Steve?!

So on Friday, Battle for Azeroth was revealed as the seventh expansion for World of Warcraft. Shit has gotten cray-cray, yo. Some tree got burnt down, a ruined city has been… more ruined? The Horde and the Alliance have never been further apart, despite coming together so many times, and now, they battle… FOR AZEROTH!

The Heart of Azeroth

We get some fancy-ass jewellery straight from Azeroth herself, courtesy of Magni Bronzebeard.

You know, the large dwarf-shaped crystal? Now, ignoring the mechanics of the thing (leave that to theorycrafters!), let’s talk about the ramifications.

The king of diamonds has been made a pawn.

Remember Il’gynoth? He’s that evil tree we faced back in the Emerald Nightmare raid.

no, the OTHER evil tree

He had things to say, and man did he love to say them. That quote up there about the “king of diamonds” sure sounds like it’s referring to Magni.

From the earth, he draws strength. Our earth. Our strength.

And it sure sounds like he’s mistaken in who he’s been chatting to while being a literal rock in the ground. My theory goes like this: Magni, who has been communicating with “Azeroth” while a crystal, has actually been in touch with N’Zoth (no doubt he’s been putting on an obviously fake girl voice that Magni’s too ROCK HEADED, heh, to see through). N’Zoth’s aim, as an agent of the void lords, is to corrupt Azeroth’s world soul so it can become a dark titan. The Legion, led by Sargeras, wanted to prevent this happening by destroying Azeroth. Better a dead world soul than a living dark titan, after all. N’Zoth prevented this by posing as Azeroth; he told Magni about the Pillars of Creation, how they were needed to close the portal in the Tomb of Sargeras. Illidan unwittingly took this a step further; he opened up a portal to Argus itself, so we could march on through and stop the Legion permanently.

All good for N’Zoth.

Alliance vs Horde

The threat of the Legion is ended. Sargeras is no longer a danger. N’Zoth needs more time to fully corrupt the world soul, and what better way to buy time than to make sure that those who would stop you, who have stopped your “brothers,” who have saved the world time and time again, are more focused on each-other? Anduin is a Priest, and they have a relationship with shadow and the void that a lot of other classes do not. He could be more susceptible than most to the whispers of an old god.

The boy-king serves at the master’s table. Three lies will he offer you.

At the hour of her third death, she will usher in our coming.

Sylvanas has felt the touch of the void too; after the death of the Lich King, she threw herself off the Frozen Throne, and soon realised that all that would wait for her when she died was the void. She made a pact with the Val’kyr, so long as they live, she does too. It seems unlikely that she’d risk her life, the life of her Val’kyr, by giving the Alliance cause to retaliate strongly against her, and it seems equally unlikely that Anduin, he who values peace above most things, would launch an unwarranted attack upon the Undercity.

Why would someone burn down Teldrassil? Because they were compelled to. Who would do that?

N’Zoth! N’Zoth! IIYOQ NEL’OTHK AR’AFGH!

He is the one instigating this war. He’s throwing out those subtle corruptive whispers that old gods do so well, quietly diverting attention away from himself while he goes about his work. Magni is a small spanner in the works, he’s gone to the leaders of both Alliance AND Horde, and was turned away from both as they prepared to attack each other. Now, he turns to you, to me, to those ragtag heroes of Azeroth, and entrusts them with a relic. The Heart of Azeroth.

Another thing that N’Zoth probably has a tentacle in. Another insurance policy. Using the blood of a slowly corrupting titan soul to power this titan artifact? Who’s to say that a little bit of N’Zoth won’t get in there? And as it grants us power, it taints US as well.

 In the sunken city, he lays dreaming…

Ny’alotha will rise. N’Zoth will rise. The Battle for Azeroth will begin, us versus old god, the light versus the void itself.

…Of course the title could just be all about the faction war. Hey ho, here we go. Speculation begins.

How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria?

I don’t know either, but let’s talk about Demonology instead. It’s been noted that the spec has issues, some of them stemming from Demonic Empowerment and the slow ramp-up of the spec in general. “This is a large problem that requires iteration, not just a numbers fix” says Ion Hazzithingymajig back in December last year, so how can we improve the spec?

Here’s my idea. Note that this is more of a revamp, not a “WoD Survival Hunter to Legion Survival Hunter” complete overhaul. I love the idea of being a summoner, and I’d like to… refine it? Help improve it? Well, we’ll see.

Soul Shards

Gone. No more. The core of my idea is moving to a more cooldown-centric style of play, as opposed to “filler to make shards, spend, filler again” like we do now. A few spells would change as a result, so let’s look at the core rotational abilities, namely Shadow Bolt, Doom, Summon Dreadstalkers, Hand of Gul’dan, and Demonic Empowerment.

Doom

It’s rarely worth casting this on any add as it only ticks the once, and by the time you’ve Doomed a number of things, they’ve started to die, unless you drop a Hand of Gul’dan on them with the Hand of Doom talent. Your Darkglare would have nothing to shoot its lasers at! My fix? Ehh, make it tick twice over the duration? Once halfway through, once at the end.

Hand of Gul’dan

With my proposed binning of Soul Shards, Hand of Gul’dan would become a combination of the version of the spell we have now, and the version from Mists. Basically, make it instant cast and have 2 charges, with a 10 second recharge time. The meteor drops, enemy is hit, 4 imps are summoned. These imps last 30 seconds. Why so long? Because of a new ability I would add that I will detail later on.

Summon Dreadstalkers

Eh, frankly this ability is alright as it is. Don’t take my feldoggies away! Maybe make them last longer but with a longer cooldown (15 seconds duration/20 second cooldown?).

Shadow Bolt

The filler, the ability you cast when there’s nothing to do. Give it a 10% chance to generate a charge of Hand of Gul’dan.

Demonic Empowerment

Currently, this buffs all your active demons’ haste and health by 50% and 20% respectively, and through your mastery also slaps on a damage boost to them. In my version of Demonology, the damage boost via mastery is a passive, at-all-times damage boost, and Demonic Empowerment becomes a 2 minute cooldown that buffs your the haste and health of your demons, and DOUBLES the effect of your mastery for x amount of time. This is a spell you’ll have active on your demons at all times anyway, so the damage boost might as well become a passive and the spell itself be used as a major DPS cooldown.

Life Tap

I know you’d like me to say “GET RID OF IT!” but in my Demonology vision, it becomes even more integral due to a BRAND NEW SPELL I would add:

Demonic Sacrifice

Remember I said I’d extend the duration a group of imps stays summoned for from 12 seconds to 30? Well, here’s why. This spell, on a 90 second cooldown, costs all your remaining mana and all of your imps, and from their/your energy, a powerful new demon is summoned.

• 4 imps, or one Hand of Gul’dan-worth, nets you one of those fancy Demonic Jailers. You know, with the cage on their back?
• 8 imps? An Inquisitor is yours!
• 12 imps? Gosh, here’s a Fel Lord!
• 16 imps? I dunno, a dreadlord?
• Did you get lucky with your Shadow Bolt procs and have 20 or more imps? Well here’s the PIT LORD you always wanted!

The fact this summoning drains all your mana to use as well as eats up all your imps necessitates the usage of Life Tap. Combine this with Demonic Empowerment for a hugely powerful demon! It’d naturally have to be worth the cost of the spell, so have each of the demons do a similar amount of damage as the equivalent number of imps used to summon it, +4. While I’m at it, making new spells, how about we bring an old one back?

Imp Swarm

Back in Mists/Warlords, you could use Glyph of Imp Swarm to give you the ability to summon 4 imps instantly, on a 2 minute cooldown. Seeing as my Demonology vision bins the Soul Shards, make Imp Swarm a level 100 talent that replaces Soul Conduit. It contributes to burst, especially when opening, and would help you get a Fel Lord out through Demonic Sacrifice relatively quickly (2 Hands, Imp Swarm, Demonic Sacrifice, Life Tap, resume normal rotation).

Conclusion

This is just an idea. We may not even get a revamp for Battle for Azeroth, but it’d certainly be nice for some of the issues that have been addressed by Blizzard themselves to be sorted out. Maybe my idea would create MORE issues, I don’t know, I’m no designer. Just an enthusiastic Warlock who’s stuck with Demonology through thick and thin this expansion.

I love the spec, but it can be improved. Here’s to hoping.

Don’t go thal’kiel, I’ll miss you! 😦