World of Warcraft

Things You Do That Annoy Me, A Novice Monk Healer

Posted on

Hello, it’s me, Panda Steve, and recently I’ve been messing around with Lunchi. In particular, I’ve made her a healer now, because Mistweaver is very fun, and also because I can.

mweave

Here she is throwing out those hadokens or whatever.

Now, I’m a fairly novice healer, but I’ve been noticing some key areas where DPS and tanks can improve their play, because who better to give you advice on staying alive than the person keeping you alive?

I’m not just saying this to make my life easier. Honest.

(yes I’ve done a moaning novice healer post before, shut up I can do it again if I want)

  • In Halls of Valor, there’s lots of enemies that make lightning. You might want to NOT STAND IN THE LIGHTNING. Whether they’re tornadoes, or dragon breaths, or those lines of Crackle, just go away from them please.
  • Similarly, when fighting Fenryr, he may leap at you. Try not to be near other people or he puts the bleed on all of you and that’s just really annoying.
  • SPEAKING OF FENRYR! Please run away when he’s fixating on you, don’t just let him rip your face off.
  • SPEAKING OF (the trash before) FENRYR! Please don’t pick up ALL the wolves. They love to leap around and smack me random people, and they really can’t take too many of those before it’s unhealable.
  • Hide behind that BIG GLOWY SHIELD whenever Skovald does Ragnarok. I mean, you DO know what Ragnarok means, right?
  • Pull Hyrja to one side. Mein gott.
  • Don’t kill both the adds when facing Parjesh. You need to hide behind one of them so they get speared!
  • DON’T HIDE BEHIND ME WHEN HE’S THROWING SPEARS AT YOU.
  • Pop. The bloody. Bubble. On Deepbeard.
  • Ordinarily I’d moan about tanks running off way ahead, but shit I’m a monk, I’ve got movement for days.
  • Please use your mitigation. I assume it’s on your bars?
  • I’m questing as Windwalker, primarily because I kill things marginally quicker. When we enter a dungeon and I say “just changing spec, gimme a sec!” (I have that shit macroed), give me a sec. I need to drink for mana. If you’re skipping off merrily to engage enemies without your healer present, I hope you’ve got a Druid healthpool.

lunlun

I’m not a good healer, but I’m getting better. Healing’s just a side project for me, something fun to pass the time, but boy oh boy does it ever do that.

Love is in the Air

Posted on

And you know what that means.

TIME TO RUN THE EVENT DUNGEON HUNDREDS OF TIMES TO GET THE MOUNT THAT NEVER DROPS.

Aysa's upset that she has no big pink love rocket.
Aysa’s upset that she has no big pink love rocket.

Thanks to the fancy new dungeon scaling tech, you no longer need to be at/near max level to queue for this event dungeon. So long as you’re level 16 or higher, you can set yourself up for disappointment many times a day!

REJOICE as you tentatively log onto characters and classes you haven’t used since Warlords, or even Pandaria! BE CONFUSED as you figure out what the hell you press to make your druid actually do something. GRIMACE as you accidentally queue as healer when you’re in a DPS spec.

But more important than this mount? Yes, that’s right. It’s time for me to complain that the BEST-looking non-eyepatch headgear is still not classed as a cosmetic item, or even eligible for transmogrification.

JESUS CHRIST
Vile Fumigator’s Mask

FIX IT, BLIZZARD.

I Never Signed Up For This

Posted on

grumpy

Sure, when I joined the Alliance I was excited to join the Stormwind Guard, but for some reason here I am now as some sort of commander. I led an army in another dimension or something, and now my fellow Shaman are calling me the Farseer, and I’m helping some weirdo stop an invasion of demons while stationed in a floating city.

khaddo

Aforementioned weirdo has a habit of popping up in the most irritating of places. I think he was trying to look in my storage boxes, see if there’s any magic paraphernalia he can purloin or something, but he made up some junk story about “oh I need to see you about some chandelier with an odd fixation on Malfurion’s brother” and I don’t believe him for a SECOND.

Life was simpler on the turtle.

prac

I suppose there’s a bright side. I’ve learned some practical skills, like how to mix potions then subsequently sell them at a high mark up, how to fish and cook, how to summon small volcanoes beneath the feet of my opponents, you know, the usual stuff you need to get by. Every time I go near Things of the Past, some elf lady in there keeps trying to get me to learn Archaeology, but who has time for that? I apparently have a world to save for some reason.

Glamour Shots?

Posted on

fujiwuji

Fujikomine. Rogue extraordinaire. Her biggest weakness is a cold breeze, but I suppose that’s not really happening here unless she ambles into the mountains.

frosty

Huomofa is on her way to Stormheim too. She’s a bit more covered up, considering she’s a Frost Mage and doesn’t like being too cold.

psw

Poundshopwig probably wonders why his mother even called him that.

lunlun

Lunchi has a big stick and isn’t afraid to hit you with it.

yopaat

Yopaat will tell you a different story about how he lost his eye every time you ask him.

He hasn’t actually lost it at all. He just thinks an eyepatch makes him look badass.

muirisc

Well Muirisc COULD go out and save the world, but she’d much rather stay indoors.

shokei

Shokei, seriously, you’ll catch your death of cold.

Let’s Get Beautiful

Posted on

Still adamant that the best things in WoW right now are the talkative artifact weapons, and the transmog wardrobe. Thal’kiel’s a veritable stunner.

beauty

Normally at this stage of an expansion, I’ve levelled at least 6-7 characters, maxed professions on my main, and am soloing old raids for mounts. Let’s see how that’s going shall we?

maxedno

Well those sure as shit aren’t maxed out. My issue with profession levelling is that the recipes seem to go green very quickly. I’ve been stuck at 790 for weeks now, making Imbued Silkweave Bracers whenever I can and just not getting skill ups. Similarly, I’m struggling to level Enchanting because while I’m swimming in Chaos Crystals and Arkhana thanks to being able to disenchant unwanted greens from questing and epics from raiding/mythics, I’m rarely if ever getting anything blue drop so I have hardly any Leylight Shards.

In previous expansions there were recipes to shatter your purple crystals into the blue ones, and blue into green, and while there’s a recipe to shatter Leylight Shards into Arkhana, there’s nothing to shatter Chaos Crystals into Leylight Shards, at least that I have seen. I could go and run dungeons for a small chance at a blue, but no thanks. The Blood of Sargeras vendor alleviates this somewhat, but then I run into a shortage of Bloods, which means I can’t craft other stuff.

Endless.

altisch

As for levelling other things, well. The artifact system effectively puts me off wanting to. I mean, the weapons are awesome (particularly the talkative ones, as mentioned) but while my Warlock has a high-levelled Demonology weapon and two other semi-levelled ones, the other classes will endlessly be playing catch-up. I like to feel my characters are powerful in their own right, but right now all I can think of is “they’re OKAY but my Warlock is practically a god compared to the rest.”

neglect

Then there’s the neglected 4. The non-maxed and the ignored Demon Hunter that hasn’t even been to New Dalaran yet. I do enjoy Holy healing on the Priest, mind.

I know it sounds like I’m being negative, but it’s important to look at this sort of thing. I love this expansion, it’s not up at Mists level (and never will be because PANDAS) but I am having a ruddy good time, but I think it’s good to look at how some things can be frustrating too.

Some high points as a counterbalance?

  • Raid encounters are fantastic. Il’gynoth and Odyn are my highlights so far.
  • THE STORY, oh my goodness. THE CINEMATICS!
  • Thal’kiel. Aluneth. Xal’atath. That Thal’kiel has conversations with your demons is even more awesome. The Succubus is a particular highlight. Voidwalkers just hate everything.
  • I actually like World Quests.
  • Demonology in general. Fuck Metamorphosis, those demon rejects can have it. NOW I HAVE AN ARMY.
  • Pirate Rogue spec. Or Outlaw, whatever. Grappling Hook is great for ascending mountains!
  • That floating Khadgar head pet. I wish it could battle though, I’d send it out to die constantly bring me victory or something.

fuji

Yarr.

Panda Steve’s Quick & Dirty LFR Guide: RIFT OF ALN

Posted on

Well fancy that, Xavius gets his own wing of LFR all to himself. Good for him.

Guides for the first wing and second wing found here and here.

XAVIUS

wowscrnshot_101916_231902

Horny tentacle goat.

  • 3 phase fight. You have a Corruption bar that adds mechanics to the fight the more full it is. At 33%, avoid giant circles on the ground. At 66%, avoid small ones too. At 100% you deal 150% more damage/healing for 20 seconds, then you become mind controlled.
  • When Xavius hits 95% health, Ysera puts half the raid to sleep. At 60%, the other half sleep. When asleep, you are affected with Dream Simulacrum. When this debuff is removed (either after 3 minutes, on death, or when mind controlled) your Corruption is reduced to 0 and you awaken from the dream to continue the fight as normal, with all your cooldowns reset.
  • There is a tank swap mechanic. At three stacks of Darkening Soul or Blackening Soul, you need to tankswap and move out of the raid. Healers then dispel you.
  • Phase one: Two players will be affected by Nightmare Blades which run in a straight line between them. Move yourselves so that it doesn’t hit anyone else. Kill the huge Corruption Horror add asap. If fixated by a Lurking Terror, run away from it if not dreaming. If you ARE dreaming, make sure you touch it before anyone else.
  • Phase two: Stack for Corruption Meteor so the damage and Corruption gain is split. A number of Inconceivable Horrors spawn at the side of the room. Kill them before they reach Xavius, and dreaming people soak the pools they leave.
  • Phase 3, Nightmare Blades and Corruption Meteor are still a thing. Tentacles spawn when he casts Writhing Deep; frankly you can ignore these and just focus on Xavius. Hero/lust here to end this as fast as possible.

Panda Steve’s Quick & Dirty LFR Guide: TORMENTED GUARDIANS

Posted on

Another wing of LFR came out apparently, I was expecting it to release in this coming reset, so better late than never here’s a quick guide to killing everything here!

Part one, Darkbough, is located here.

URSOC

ursoc

I can BEARly believe it.

  • Split into two groups. One group stands to his side, the other group stands in front of him.
  • If you get targeted by Focused Gaze, move behind the group that is in front of him. He will charge to that player and do a Barreling Impact which deals a large amount of damage, but this damage is reduced based on how many players he runs through to get to his target.
  • The soaking players get a debuff called Momentum on them. They’re knocked back and take 300% increased damage if they soak another charge, so when he’s finished charging, the two groups need to swap places.
  • Tanks swap immediately after every cast of Overwhelm and Rend Flesh. At 30% health Ursoc will enrage (Blood Frenzy), dealing more damage and attacking faster. Heroism/Bloodust here.
  • No, that’s it. Really.

DRAGONS OF NIGHTMARE

ysondre

Dragons dragons everywhere and not a drop to… drink?

  • 4 dragons, shared health pool, but you only ever face two at a time. One is always Ysondre.
  • Split the raid into two groups again, and each goes to one side of the room. The dragons will radiate an aura that smacks a DoT (Mark of Ysondre/Emeriss/Taerar/Lethon) on everyone within 45 yards of it that deals increasing shadow damage and puts you to sleep when it reaches 10 stacks. It applies a stack every 10 seconds, and takes 35 seconds to drop off.
  • The idea is, the tanks swap dragons when they reach about 7 stacks of the Mark, and drag the new dragon over their end of the room. DPS DO NOT FOLLOW THEM or you’ll keep taking stacks and be CC’d for a long time.
  • If you’re ranged and feeling fancy, you can try and plonk yourself in the middle in range of one dragon, and duck in and out of range of the other dragon every so often to multidot. Be wary when doing this though.
  • Tanks, don’t point Corrupted Breath at people. Everyone else, this is a typical Dragon fight so stand to the side of it.
  • Ysondre periodically fires Nightmare Blast at a player’s location. This deals damage to players standing in the mark, knocks them back, and spawns a flower. STAND IN THE FLOWER, otherwise it spawns adds every 3 seconds. Only one person soaks the flower.
  • Healers, dispel the player affected by Defiled Vines. DPS, when dispelled, run out of the Call Defiled Spirit void zone.
  • Taerar summons copies of himself and spawns Seeping Fog that float around and put players to sleep. Avoid fog, kill dragons.
  • Lethon summons adds that spawn out of players near Ysondre. They will float toward Lethon, and if they reach him, they heal BOTH DRAGONS. This is annoying as they share a health pool but get healed twice. Kill these adds and avoid Gloom void zones.
  • Emeriss summons two adds that need to be killed very quickly. Interrupt their Corruption casts. They can also be stunned. If affected by Volatile Infection, move away from other players.

CENARIUS

cenarius

The hills are alive with the sound of moose-ic.

  • When he casts Forces of Nightmare adds will spawn. You can purify one of these adds by standing next to them as Cenarius channels. Generally, you want to purify Wisps. If none are present, go for the Nightmare Ancient.
  • When Malfurion cleanses the add, he also summons a large patch of Cleansed Ground which cleanses a debuff that is constantly stacking throughout the fight. Don’t linger too long in this patch of ground as it shrinks when used. Try to cleanse your stacks when they hit around 30. Purifying the Wisps will spawn more small patches to aid you in stack cleansing. If you always purify the Wisps, you won’t have to deal with their annoying mechanic too.
  • Adds always take priority. Interrupt the Twisted Sisters’ cast of Twisted Touch of Life, or dispel it immediately if they actually get a cast off, as this will heal Cenarius quite a large amount. Move away from people if you have Scorned Touch on you.
  • Rotten Drakes are the next priority, and need to be pointed away from people as they have a breath attack. When they reach 50% health they pulse a powerful AoE, so KILL IT QUICK.
  • Nightmare Ancients periodically do a stomp attack that needs to be soaked by several players. If nobody is in range, then the attack hits the WHOLE RAID.
  • These adds must be tanked far away from Cenarius (at least 20 yards apart) or they start reflecting 50% of damage dealt to them.
  • If you are fixated on by Nightmare Brambles (and you need to pay attention to this as it seems to be untrackable by bossmods) then kite them away from people and to the edges of the room. Rogues and Hunters can run through the bramble patches with Cloak of Shadows/Aspect of the Turtle active to clear them.
  • When Cenarius hits 30% health, he stops summoning adds and the raid should DPS him hard. Pop Hero/Lust here, and feel free to ignore Malfurion if he gets trapped. Nightmare Brambles are still active, so whoever is fixated needs to be mindful, and don’t forget to reset your stacks if they are too high.
  • Tanks swap after every cast of Spear of Nightmares. The more damage this ability does, the larger the void zone it spawns, so pop defensive cooldowns before he casts it. Healers may need to step in with their own damage-reducing cooldowns if the tanks run out.  The idea is to kill Cenarius before you run out of space and die.

Just one boss to go and he gets his own wing for some reason. Xavius comes… and he’s actually easier than Cenarius, fnar.