It’s official because I say so.
Let’s start with the (un)lucky losers.
Like, you’re cool and all but I just can’t with the sniffing and the opening area. I don’t WANT to do Gilneas. You can’t make me!
I can’t even include a picture of one because I just can’t DO Gilneas, it makes me want to scream, so here’s a dog instead.
12) NIGHT ELF
Let’s be honest here, Malfurion’s really holding you back here. He’s such an endpiece, you need to get rid.
I’m human. You’re (I assume?) human too. Human’s like the most BORING choice anyone could make. Who’d even make their main one anyway? Oh wait
Frankly I think we’re all sick of them by now. BRING ON THE DEMONS.
Comedically large shoulders though, so that saves them from oblivion.
We’re all waiting on the inevitable Troll raid in Legion. I mean we went a whole expansion with nary a Trollish hand raised against us! Blasphemy!
So we get to some difficult decisions now, and Gnomes get the short end of the stick.
Get it? SHORT end? SHORT end?
Owners of some of the most rad hairstyles in the game, but with a disappointing habit of having bones appear through everything. Even plate for some reason.
COW PEOPLE. MOO!
They also have comedically large shoulders, and are all peace & love!
Tentacled space goats with booty.
Yes, even the men.
They may be locked into their start experience just like the Worgen, but the difference is that the Goblin start area is actually FUN, and that’s what’s important, kids.
3) BLOOD ELVES
The men aren’t the size of houses and are voiced by Liquid Snake. The ladies all give better sassface than even Gnomes.
Plus that casting animation:
It’s like he’s saying “BITCH I’M AMAZING, CONSIDER YOURSELF LUCKY THAT I AM THE LAST THING YOU’LL EVER SEE.”
Poundshopwig and his resplendent beard have really made me fall in love with the diminutive Dwarven race! Being able to turn into stone every so often is pretty damn cool too.
But that beard. THAT BEARD. It demands respect and inspires fear. I envy the lushness and fullness, when all I can grow are smoky wisps of nothing. He oils it every day so that it may inspire all who come into contact with it.
Like you’re shocked by this. Really.
I mean have we met?
Pandaren are the BOMB, yo.