Jem and the RAGE

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I have opinions. Opinions on things. Here I will throw out a few opinions for you to mull over.

Jem and the Holograms (2015)

Jem and the Holograms was this weird, dated-even-for-the-80’s, occasionally badly animated cartoon that was basically a means to sell toys, revolving around a woman called Jerrica Benton. By day, she’s the owner of a record company, Starlight Music, and also runs some sort of orphanage or foster care centre, because of course she does. By night, she’s JEM, the lead singer of Jem and the Holograms! She has a computer called Synergy that can basically do anything. She uses it to make earrings that project holograms over herself and her bandmates. Disguises!


It’s disgustingly 80’s and it’s AMAZING. It had the best intro music, it had songs throughout the episode, it had weird, fantastical sequences that defy explanation, and it spawned an INCREDIBLY funny (and entirely sick, NSFW) spoof series on YouTube called Jiz and the Mammograms.

(seriously, if you’re easily offended, I’d recommend not searching for it)

To great fanfare, a live-action movie was announced last year. To greater fanfare, the first trailer for it was shown yesterday.

Where is Synergy? Where are the Misfits? Where’s Jem’s record label? Where’s her AGENCY? Where are the goddamn motherfuckin’ HOLOGRAMS?

We’ve gone from the animation that had Jem as a reasonably strong, successful, capable woman, who runs her own record company, fronts a band, and is generally all-round awesome, to this live-action abomination that turns her into this… drippy wet-blanket that gets shunted around and turned into Yet Another Drone of the Music Industry. They turned what could be something truly awesome into another teenage drama movie with the Jem license painted sloppily over the top of it.

She is not Jem.

They are not the Holograms.

I am NOT happy.


Other major controversy that occurred yesterday was the banning of (supposedly) 100,000 accounts that used programs to play World of Warcraft for them. From dungeon botting, to battleground botting, to fishing botting, if you were automating your gameplay, and they found you out, then you got flushed. Well, for 6 months at least.

Now this is all well and good, cheaters who break the ToU that Blizzard CLEARLY set out (and evidently nobody reads) should get banned, but it’s entirely possible that it’s hit some innocent people too. People who use a virtual private network because they don’t trust, say, a hotel network, or people who use background programs like autoclickers to play Clicker Heroes, or those that run some programs that they HAVE to as a programmer might set off a flag to Warden, and got swept away too.

Now, for those innocent people, there are ways for you to hopefully get your account back, and I encourage you to do them!

There are, however, a small amount of people that feel they SHOULD be able to use programs to play the game for them, and that it’s Blizzard’s DUTY to change the ToU to reflect this.

No, really.

’cause Obama doesn’t have anything better to do, right?



And yet again, we see NO CHANGES for Destruction Warlocks. No change to the Rain of Fire issues they said they’d look at way back in 6.0. No change to the spec to make it actually viable in single target. Nothing to change the fact that you’re basically a turret and are absolutely fucked over when you have to move.

Meanwhile, Demonology is getting further smashed into the ground, thanks to a nerf on the Shadowflame DoT from Hand of Gul’dan, and Affliction is increasingly looking like the go-to spec for 6.2

It’s a shame that Affliction is just so cripplingly DULL.



Other Niggles

  • The Demonology 4-piece tier bonus has a chance to summon demons to aid you when you proc Molten Core. One of these demons is Prince Malchezaar from Karazhan. He’s big, and he will run into melee and you poor Rogues, Warriors et al will not be able to see a damn thing.
  • There’s apparently some RAGE about the new store mount but frankly I don’t care. Don’t like it/the fact Blizzard are charging £x for it/SLIPPERY SLOPE? Don’t fucking buy it and move along.
  • Retribution Paladins are also crying out for changes, it’s not just us Destruction fiends, and they’re getting jack too, which is a shame. Plus, Warlocks and Paladins joining forces and going “GIVE US SOMETHING!” is a weird thing, but there you go.




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